Harry Potter's Lost Twin Sisters Book 1 The Cheesecake of Secrets
by Mister Asylum
Summary: Harry's 2 lost little mischievous twin sisters are here at Hogwarts! Katie and Lavender Potter are ready for the wizarding world, and will take on various challenges to get through their fist Hogwarts year. First in the Harry Potter's Lost Twin Sisters series. The second will hopefully be out in 2019 or 2020. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! :)
1. Prologue

Harry Potter's

Lost Twin

Sisters

Book 1

The Cheesecake of Secrets

BY: TeressaStarr and MiaStarr

Based on the novel by J.K. Rowling

 _ **(This book is not meant to be taken seriously. If you want a serious Harry Potter fanfiction, look somewhere else.)**_

 **Note on book:**

TYPE OF BOOK: **Comedy**

AGES: **7+**

DIFFICULTY: **Not difficult**

If you are expecting this book to make sense, you are expecting WRONG! The order of events is EXTREMELY scrambled, and over half the events in this book never happen at all in the real books. So if you're a critic, then we warned you. I can already see bad reviews,

 _This book is an insult to Harry Potter! 0/5 stars! -A critic._

Well, we warned you! If you don't like it, we ask you keep it to yourself please!

 **Also: All credit goes to J.K. Rowling. We own nothing except Katie, Lavender, Laura, and other characters and objects not mentioned in the actual Harry Potter books.**

Table of Contents!

The Girls who Lived (Somehow)

The Malfoy Manor

Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw

Quidditch

The Polyjuice Participants

The Party (z)

The Quidditch Match

The (Pathetic) Dueling Club

Moaning Myrtle

Infinite Owl Post

Quidditch Quarrle

Responding to the Infinite Owl Post

The Snake Thingy

A wacky Weekend

Almost Expelled (Yay)

Harry Potter? Oh (Sigh), Cuthead.

The Echoes in the Walls

Happily Ever-Wait, What? No! We've still got six years left at Hogwarts, for the love of God!


	2. The Girls who Lived (Somehow)

It was a cold October morning in Godric's Hollow. Birds tweeted as they zoomed by. The bell on the church remained silent for long stretches. James and Lily Potter were dancing around in their yard, because, why not? Tiny drops of water that weren't frozen were scattered along the blades of grass. They were playing with their son Harry, and lost track of time. Before they knew it, it was night.

So then, the basic story, Voldemort shows up and kills them but fails to kill Harry, runs away into hiding, blah blah blah. But what if there was another part of the story? There is, and this is it. Lily was expecting twins. So they should've died with her, right? WRONG!

So Hagrid shows up and takes Harry, but leaves the twins behind. JERK! So they're doomed, right? WRONG! Snape showed up and cried over Lily's body. He knew about the twins, and magically birthed them to freedom. So he leaves them there, and a couple hours later (This part is never mentioned) Harry's older sister Lily (from another one of Teressa's dumb fanfictions) shows up and sends them to a muggle orphanage, and she isn't important because no one ever sees her because she's a creep and chooses to hide in the shadows.

So they were raised with muggles. Snape named them Katie and Lavender. Their full names were Katie Susan and Lavender Padma Potter. Ten years and 364 days passed, and tomorrow was their eleventh birthday. So they were normally sleeping like normal peoples, and at midnight, Dumbledore showed up and told them they were witches (Hogwarts is starting really late for first years this year. Don't question our logic.). They believed him because if you can't trust an old guy in a weird dressy dress who shows up in your house at midnight, who can you trust?

But of course, they'd seen themselves do magic before, and knew how to do the following things:

Apparate

Predict the future

Make things fly

Play Quidditch

BE AWESOME!

So Dumbledore was a bit freaked out by them so he was chill about it because you know, he's Dumbledore. Snape never told anyone about the twins, so I guess Dumbledore has a habit of randomly coming to orphanages and telling kids that they're wizards or witches (which seems to happen a lot because, well, you know, he's Dumbledore).

So Katie and Lavender went to Diagon Alley to get their school stuffs and also some extra stuffs, like Nimbus 2001s, ice cream, Every-Flavor Beans, a bunch of other candy and junk that they didn't need and some other crap. They apparently had a million galleons in gringotts and were happy about that. They ran into some redhead kids, and they were with a dark haired boy with a stupid cut on his head. They went into the bookshop and there was apparently a celebrity there because there was a giant angry mob, but not angry.

They eventually made it up the staircase. They got a view of the celebrity, who was posing with cuthead dude. Lavender didn't care, but when Katie first saw cuthead, she HATED him. She noticed another boy, who, by the look on his face, didn't like Cuthead either.

While Lavender looked at books, Katie walked over to him. "You also hate Cuthead?" She asked.

"Heh. Cuthead? Suits him. He's evil."

"I know, right!"

"Yeah. Cheap Potter. Can't even walk into a bookshop without making the front page." The boy rolled his eyes.

"Potter?" Katie gasped again and again, quite uncontrollably.

"Yeah. You heard that name?" The boy laughed.

"My name is Katie Susan Potter." Katie replied, strongly and firmly produced, ish, but felt nervous.

"Yeah. And I'm Severus Snape."

"How dare your father name you something like 'Severus!'" Katie's mouth was wide open crazily.

"No! I'm Draco Malfoy! Have you ever heard the name Severus?… Nevermind." Draco walked away, and Katie went to find Lavender.

"Lavender!" Katie screamed from the back of the crowd. It was no use. A group of adults seemed to be taking a picture of Lavender and Cuthead.

"What's your name?" The celebrity said to Lavender.

"I'm Lavender-"

"Don't say it!" Katie interrupted Lavender. The whole crowd stopped talking and stared. "May I talk to you for a minute outside (Katie rushed to the front of the crowd and yanked her outside)?"

"What are you doing?"

"Did you see that person in there?!"

"Do you mean the one I was taking a picture with and was with the guy who was asking me for my name but then you dragged me out here? No."

"CUTHEAD!"

"Oh him. Yeah."

"His last name is Potter!"

"Oh! Well, it's a common name, so I'm just going to ignore that and continue with our shopping of stuffs."

"Fine. I hate him. Besides, he can't be related to us, WE HAVE NO FAMILY! REMEMBER!"

"Okay okay, didn't say he was, sheesh."

"So, where are we going to stay after we get all our stuffs? Because I'm not taking that vomit ride of vomitry the Knight Bus all the way back home."

"Ugh, wow, I didn't think of that."

"I just got an idea!" Katie exclaimed. They were silent.

"Well?" Asked Lavender. "What is it?"

"I met a friend in the bookshop. He's very friendly, he might let us stay at his place." Katie suggested.

"Those redheads said they had plenty of space."

"You mean the redheads with CUTHEAD?!"

"Ugh, Katie, fine. So let's go find your friend."

"Okay. DRACO!" She wailed, gaining herself plenty of attention. So they trotted back towards the bookshop to look there. Katie saw a guy who looked like tall Draco with long hair. "Um, excuse me," she said, tugging his sleeve, "Are you a Malfoy?" The man looked down at her with evil eyes. "As a matter of fact, I am." Lavender was a bit frightened by the man. She tugged Katie's hand, trying to get her to come with her.

The man continued, "Why do you feel the need to ask me?"

"Well, ugh, are you Draco's father?"

"Oh, of course, you've met my son?"

"Yes. Where is he?"

"He's getting his new robes with my wife Narcissa. The shop is right there." He pointed to Madam Malkin's Robes.

"Okay thanks, we'll go now." Said Lavender eagerly. They sprinted through the crowd to the shop. They shoved their way through the small doorway. Nope. Draco wasn't there. So they shrugged and walked out. "Do you think we could ask the father?"

"I don't know, Kate, he seemed a bit, oh, what are the words, TOTALLY CREEPY!"

"Well, I can assure you-" She stopped talking. From the corner of her eye, she saw Draco bob past.

"DRACO!" Katie yelled very loudly

"You called?" ("Very loudly." Lavender mumbled)

"We have no idea where we're going to sleep tonight, and we were hoping we could stay with you." Katie gave him puppy eyes.

Ten seconds past.

"Fine. We have a one or two guest rooms on the second floor. Are you finished with your shopping?"

"We just have to go to get owls and wands." Katie answered.

"Meet me in the bookshop in twenty minutes, Katie and other one."

"My name is Lavender-"

"Don't really care." Draco left and disappeared into the crowd.

"Well he was friendly!" Lavender threw her hands in the air.

"Yes, he was very friendly!" Katie smiled as wide as she could. And so they went on to get owls.

...

The pet shop was extremely loud, but Katie and Lavender really didn't care. "Hrm...I think I want either a Saw-Whet or a Great Gray." Katie said.

"Hrm...the Saw-Whet is so cute!" Lavender wailed.

"Okay, you get the Saw-Whet, I'll get the Great Gray!"

"Okay!" So they chose their owls and went to buy them. The cashier woman was very unenthusiastic. She had twirly black hair and heavily lidded eyes. She wore a black leather dress and her wand was black and slightly curved. "Twenty galleon for the Saw-Whet, thirty for the Great Gray." The woman said. It almost looked like she was about to grab her wand, but they payed and left before she could.

"Okay, wands." Katie said. They trotted into Ollivander's. On their way, they named their owls. Katie got a male and named him Lord Dunmore. Lavender got a female and named hers MUFFIN. When they got to Ollivander's, they were the only ones there. An old guy who they supposed was Ollivander came out from behind a shelf of wands.

"Good evening, girls." He said.

"Hi, is this the wand shop?" Lavender asked.

"Yep." He replied. "What are your full names?"

"I'm Lavender Padma Potter."

"Yeah, and I'm Katrina Susan Potter."

"Who wants their wand first?"

"Me!" Katie yelled.

(Five hours later) "We've gone through every wand in the shop!" The shop was now a pile of wands, empty wand cases, shattered glass, split wood, and it was somehow thundering inside the shop but perfectly clear outside.

"You can't have!"

"Well, there is one in the back…"

"Try it!"

"Okay okay!" He ran to the back and out of sight.

"Katie, I think I should have gone first."

"I'm starting to think that too."

Ollivander came back with a wand. "Try this." He said cautiously, handing her the wand and taking shelter under his desk. But, surprisingly, nothing exploded. In fact it stopped raining and everything unexploded itself. The room glowed a yellowish color. Mr. Ollivander poked his head up from under his desk and said:

"Willow, thirteen and a half inches, core of…."

"Core of…. Continue…."

"Frozen Acromantula Venom."

"Huh. Convenient. Lavender, you're turn!"

"She's asleep."

"What?" Lavender had fallen asleep with her head on a desk. "Lavender!"

"Huh?"

"Your turn!"

"Finally!" As Ollivander went to the back of the shop with his hands buried in his face, they heard him muttering unkindly things.

"Try this one. Eleven and a quarter inches, Willow, and Hippogriff Wing Feather." As soon as he handed the wand to Lavender, he ran to the other side of the shop and went in a secret entrance behind the wall, especially made for occasions like this. Lavender waved the wand and a cloud of fluffy white stuff formed around Lavender and her wand, and a golden light shined in the shop.

"Yep. This one." And then left the shop. When Mr. Ollivander left the his little hiding place an hour later, he found a thick fog covering from his shoes to his knees and fifty-five galleons on his desk the girls left for him for all the trouble Katie put him through.

"Hmm…. Now that was almost, _almost_ , worth while!"


	3. The Malfoy Manor

Malfoy Manor was like a castle, but it was really just a mansion. Katie and Lavender had never seen a house bigger than the orphanage that Lilith brought them to. Katie thought it was awesome, with all its creepy things. Lavender, on the other hand, thought it was 'just a bit TOTALLY CREEPY!'

Draco had overestimated the number of spare bedrooms with two, so Katie and Lavender ended up sharing a bed. Lavender hated this because until then, she was unaware of how loud Katie snored. And took all the blankets. And laid horizontally on the the bed, giving her zero percent space.

So eventually she just left and let Katie sleep. She snuck down the dark hallway, trying to find the stairway. She saw a light at the end of the hallway, and decided to follow it. As she got closer, she saw it was a glittering silver peacock. She'd never seen this kind of magic before. She reached out to touch it, but her path was blocked. Draco's father stepped in front of her. "What do you think you're doing, young lady?"

"I just-well, I was trying to escape from the terrible forces of sleeping with Katie, so I was looking for the stairwell when I saw-um, what, is it?"

"Oh yes. This is a patronus. Of course you know what a patronus is?"

"No."

"Uhggggghhhhhhhhhh. Okay, the stairwell is on the other side of the hall, other."

"My name is Lavender-"

"Don't really care." Mr. Malfoy walked into another room among the many rooms in the hallway.

Lavender walked the halls until first daylight, then rushed to the guest room. Thankfully, she thought to herself, she didn't run into Mr. Malfoy. There was just something off about him. She didn't know what it was, but it was just there.

"Katie, wake up!" Lavender screamed for the ninth time. Since her mouth was starting to hurt from screaming, she just started to jump on her. Katie moaned.

"Ugh!" Katie stood up, but then flopped on the bed again. Lavender grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room.

"If you get up and walk downstairs, I'll buy the cake for our birthday today!"

"CAKE!" Katie stood up, then ran downstairs. "Come on!" She screamed from the stairwell. "Can it have sprinkles, ice cream, frosting, whipped cream, chocolate chips, gumdrops, gummy bears, sour patch kids, starburst, skittles, crushed Oreos, M _&_ M's, jelly beans, and, um, that's it."

"Whatever, fine." By the time they got downstairs, Draco had already woken up. So he unimpressively summoned breakfast, cleaned up the mess it made when it smashed against the wall, then managed to land it on the table. So they ate then went outside. The Malfoys' front lawn was quite unimpressive: almost all the grass was dead, and it's best feature was the silver peacock.

Katie, who had never seen it, was amazed by the thing, and reached out to touch it. But as it was inches away from her fingertips, Mr. Malfoy appeared from nowhere to block her. "What is it with you girls and patronuses?"

"We've never seen a patronus, well, except for last night. Say, what is a patronus?" Lavender said.

"Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh. It's a charm commonly used to repel dementors and lethifolds. Can I go now?"

"Yeah." So they just gave up and walked across the yard to Narcissa who was sitting in a pretty green chair.

"So, are there always these patronus things around here?" Katie asked with a strange expression. Narcissa took a minute to answer this.

"Oh, yes. They're lovely to watch around the house." There was a silence.

"Um, Miss Malfoy, um, what exactly _are_ dementors and lethifolds?" Lavender asked awkwardly.

"Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh." She said in a squeakier voice than Mister Malfoy. "They're things that kill you."

"Could you be a little more specific?"

"Ugggg-"

"Okay, bye." And they walked back into the house. The rest of the day was pretty simple, ate food, ate some more food, more food was eaten. So when they slept that night, Lavender was fed up. In the middle of the night, she just pushed Katie of the bed and threw a blanket on her face, which she quickly punched away from her and continued snoring.

Sleeping with Katie was like sleeping in a lion's stomach. So Lavender actually got some sleep that night. The morning was a hassle: they had to collect all of their things and jam them into Lucius Malfoy's Limousine. They felt good they finally had rich people problems.

Katie got to sit up front with Draco, while Lavender got squashed between a bunch of trunks and owls. Draco's Eagle-owl squawked away endlessly.

Lavender wasn't having fun at all, but Katie was. She was talking with Draco, meanwhile Lavender was covering her ears and whispering 'Please make it stop, make it stop.' Though, at least she wasn't sleeping with Katie again. Finally, when the what seemed to be endless ride was over, they were at King's Cross station. Lavender said they should follow a little red-haired girl called Ginny that belonged to the family of redheads that were Lavender's friends. Katie did much protesting against this because they were friends with Cuthead, but they didn't because of Katie though they had no idea to get to Platform 9 ¾ from Platforms 9 and 10. Katie wanted to wait for to Draco finish saying goodbye to his parents, but Lavender dragged her out of that like she dragged her out of bed the other morning. But she still failed, because Katie latched onto a random metal pole with no purpose. They lost track of time and forgot about Draco, so the clock struck eleven. They pounded on the wall but they were left behind with, get this, Cuthead, and his 'idiot' friend. (Katie REALLY hates Cuthead.) Lavender offered to try and ask if they could help. So she did, but Katie did too. Katie didn't so much help on their matter, because she flipped out when she opened her mouth to talk to Cuthead. Redhead idiot and Cuthead ran outside to a car and flew away in it. JERKS! But Katie and Lavender just apparated to just outside of Hogwarts grounds then just walked in.


	4. Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw

So they pretty much thought they had everything figured out, but then they realized The Hogwarts Express wasn't gonna be there for hours when they saw Dumbledore singing and dancing in the halls which they took for normal. So then they walked around the grounds for an hour, but then came to a wood. So they walked away and went into the castle to spy on Dumbledore. _He was the most boring person the world, all he did was dance and pick his nose!_ So they went back to the wood to see what that was. They saw a tiny hut about ten feet from the forest. It seemed dark, and cold, even though it was daytime. About a five feet away from them, there was a small sign that read:

Please do not enter.

Then, closer to the small hut, they saw a sign that was sloppily cut that read:

DO NOT ENTER!

So, of course, they entered. The Potter twins wondered whether or not the signs meant something, but they really didn't care. They took out their Nimbus 2001s and flew into the forest. They eventually reached a dark lonely cave, so they went inside of it. "HOLEY MOLEY GUACAMOLE ON A MACARONI AND CHEESE SANDWICH! A SPIDER!"

"WHAT?!"

"SPIDER!"

"Z!"

"My name is Aragog."

"YOU _TALK?!"_

"Of course, I'm an Acromantula."

"Bless you." Lavender politely stated.

"Wow, you're chill." Katie nodded her head.

"Anyway…"

"Let's go."

"No." said the spider.

"Yes." And they flew away on their broomsticks. Finally, the train had arrived, so they landed in the Great Hall.

They saw all the first years form a line in front of (whatever was left of it) a wizard's hat.

"LUNA LOVEGOOD!" A tall woman called from next to the old hat. A girl with silvery blonde hair stepped up to the hat and put it on her head over her eyes. They heard distant mumbling from the hat which they took as normal.

"RAVENCLAW!" The hat screamed. Katie and Lavender were so bored their brains automatically blocked out the rest but they heard faint shouts of "SLYTHERIN!" and "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"KATIE POTTER!" The students gasped.

"No, no. Them both!" The hat screamed.

"Umm…. Then, Lavender Potter with Katie Potter!" They stepped up to the hat. Thankfully the hat was big enough for both of them.

"Too smart for Ravenclaw," The old hat mumbled, "Too cunning for Slytherin, too brave for Gryffindor, and too loyal for Hufflepuff." The crowd whispered as Katie and Lavender began to feel nervous.

The hat inhaled deeply. "GRYFFINslitherhufFLECLAW!" It screamed. Professor Dumbledore's facial expression was too complicated to describe. Everyone in the crowd was either exchanging thoughts or had faces as if they were going to be sick. Since Katie and Lavender weren't looking at the students or Dumbledore or any of the teachers, they thought it was an accomplishment. They started dancing and singing, "GRYFFINslitherhufFLECLAW!"

Professor Dumbledore stepped forward. "Hmm…. Very well. Will you two girls step up here with me for a moment?" Katie and Lavender started on their way. "Uhh. Yes, very good. Continue the sorting!"

When They girls finally arrived at the teacher's table, Dumbledore motioned for them to come over.

"Now, this Gryffinslitherhuff-" he hesitated. "Nobody has ever been sorted into this house, so a few arrangements will have to be made, so, come and see me after dinner. In the meantime you can sit at any table you want." Katie and Lavender both mumbled 'thanks' as they began down.

"I think we should sit at the Slytherin table with Draco." Katie said dreamily.

"But I want to sit at Gryffindor!"

"Slytherin!"

"Gryffindor!"

"Slytherin!"

"Gryffindor!"

"Slytherin!"

"Cheesecake!"

"Wha- Whoa!" They both saw cheesecake at the Hufflepuff table.

"Okay, let's decide on a fair Hufflepuff!" Lavender said firmly looking at the cheesecake. She put out her hand.

"YAY!" Screamed Katie and shook it. So, they sat down at Hufflepuff table and Katie topped her cheesecake with sprinkles, ice cream, whipped cream, frosting, chocolate chips, gumdrops, gummy bears, sour patch kids, starburst, skittles, crushed Oreos, M _&_ M's, and jelly beans, and, that's it. While they were eating all the cheesecake, they talked with a boy named Cedric Diggory.

"So, your last names are also Potter?" Cedric asked them.

"Yep." They both said with mouths full of cheesecake.

"Are you related to Harry Potter?"

"Who?" Katie asked.

"I think he means Cuthead." Lavender replied.

"Oh. Well, we don't know, but we like ("She likes.") to think we aren't because we don't ("She don't.") like him."

"Oh. What?"

So after diner, (Five pounds of cheesecake) they walked up to Dumbledore and looked at him with a dirty look.

"So, what's it gonna be?" They slammed their fists on the table.

"I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore-"

"WHAT IN THE GOOD NAME OF CHEESECAKE DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore…"

"ENGLISH MAN, ENGLISH!" Dumbledore sighed.

"You know, you girls are gonna be a handful."

"Believe it or not, we've heard that before." They said at the same time. "Okay, goodbye." And they followed the crowd of students.

Later, they realized they had no idea where they were going. That happened to be three hours later.

"I think we're lost." Katie looked from side to side.

"Yeah, no duh, three hours hesitation." Lavender rolled her eyes.

"Let's just walk up to the astronomy tower.

"Ugh." So they went to the Tower, and were just walking around in circles until Lavender slipped on a loose tile.

"Lavender, look! A three-hundred-yard drop!"

"Wow!"

"This is our tower. Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower."

"Yeah the password is…"

They looked at each other and at the same time and screamed: "Chmitzlefriz Bacon! I like how you think." ® © ½ ⅓ ¼ ⅕ ⅙ ⅔ → ← ⇐ ⇒ they then carved into the tile to confuse other students because it meant nothing, and to remind them it was that tile.

So, they jumped down the three-hundred-yard fall, and surprisingly, they didn't fall to their doom. They actually landed on an old student's mattress. It was on a dismembered bed with ripped red velvet curtains that matched the blanket at the end of the bed on the cold floor. But it was a room, and it was secret, so after some cleaning, they found secret writing from floor to ceiling.

On the bottom of the bed there was writing that read:

Tom Marvolo Riddle

I Am Lord Voldemort

Which they just thought was normal for Hoggy Warts. They transfigured random wood planks into tables and chairs and fixed up the bed and somehow duplicated it. Then, duplicated it again for bits and pieces. Katie took the curtains and transfigured them into blankets and cushions for the wooden chairs. "Hey Lavender, want to go tell Dumbledore that Tom Marvolo Riddle is Lord Voldemort?"

"Yeah, why not." So they went to the Great Hall screaming: "DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE!" Even though it was two A.M. After running around and screaming for ten minutes, Dumbledore showed up in his weird dressy dress holding a candle.

"Children, children, silence yourselves, or you'll wake even more than the half of the school you've already woken up already!"

"Okay, but Tom Marvolo Riddle is Lord Voldemort."

Dumbledore looked legitimately scared.

"Goodnight, girls."

"Okay, goodbye." So they skipped back up to the Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw Tower and sat on the girls started back to the astronomy tower. They found the ® © ½ ⅓ ¼ ⅕ ⅙ ⅔ → ← ⇐ ⇒ tile and flipped it up. Then they realized it was late enough for the school day to officially start. "Okay, for first class we can choose from Transfiguration with Gryffindor, Care for Magical Creatures with Ravenclaw, Potions with Hufflepuff, or Defense against the Dark Arts with Slytherin." Lavender said, holding up the class schedule.

"Let's do Transfiguration. I want to show Cuthead and idiot redhead friend how unimpressive it is to crash land into the Whomping Willow. Seriously, they knew it was there if they're at all observant, and somehow got everyone so mad that the staff of Hogwarts sealed the entrance to keep them from passing."

"Okay, no. When we go, you will be a good girl. I wanna make a good impression."

"Well I don't." Katie mumbled. So they went to transfiguration five minutes before class started. There was a random cat on Professor McGonagall's desk. Katie and Lavender shrugged and sat down. The cat lunged and turned into Professor Mcgonagall.

"Wow, I didn't know you were an animagus." They said together.

"You're very smart girls. You know, there's another Potter in the school…."

"Cuthead, already met him, he's a jerk. Hey, I just came up with something…. Cuthead. More like BUTTHEAD."

"Ha ha, very funny." Came a voice from the back of the room. Cuthead and idiot redhead friend had just entered.

"What do YOU want?" Asked Katie, annoyed. "Want detail about you're not-so-epic crash land into the Whomping Willow? Come on, dude, you act like you never 'suffered' through reading _Hogwarts, a History_. Seriously, was that the BEST you could do?"

"Yep. And I know that's not helping our argument, but you won't be able to fight back." Said idiot redhead friend.

"Wow. That is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard." Katie hissed back at him. Lavender's head was already buried in her hands by the time Katie was standing on her desk. A large crowd of students burst through the doors. Professor Mcgonagall turned into a cat. "Wow, I didn't know you were animagus!" Katie and Lavender yelled again for some reaosn.

"You are really very, very smart girls. Ten points to Gryffinslitherhuffleclawtherhuffleclaw!" Mcgonagall exclaimed. "be quiet now!"

Cuthead sniggered and walked away with idiot redhead friend. It was a boring Transfiguration class until…."KATIE POTTER!" Mcgonagall screamed. Katie charged at Cuthead to attack him randomly.

"KATIE!" Lavender exclaimed.

"WHAT?" She replied.

"STOP!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"I'll buy you cheesecake."

"YES!" And she stopped. By now Cuthead had a bloody nose and idiot redhead friend had a black eye. Some weirdo Gryffindor girl with gigantic bushy brown hair used some stupid episkey spell and the pair were magically normal. Katie got detention with Snape for some reason.

So she went to the dungeons and Snape didn't appear to have any work for her.

"Katie Potter." He said.

"Yes?"

"Tell me, why did you decide to muggle duel with other Potter in Transfiguration."

"I didn't attack Lavender! I attacked Cuthead!"

"Um, okay, why did you decide to muggle duel 'Cuthead?'"

"Because he randomly flashed my a paper that said I was worse than some 'Dark Lord!'"

"Do you mean 'he who must not be named?'"

"Is that the no-nose-guy Lavender and I heard about in the daily prophet?"

"Umm…. Yes. FIFTEEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"Cool!" She screamed. Then after, the rest of detention was very boring. Snape just talked about his personal dating life while lying on his desk.

"What shall I ever do? I will never again find someone like Lily Evans!"

"First of all, I have no idea who this 'Lily Evans' is ("Your mum." He mumbled just not loud enough for her to hear) second of all, if I had your love life I would probably take a long walk off a short pier."

"Brilliant! TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINslitherhufFLECLAW!" He screamed.

"So now, Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw has twenty points!" Katie mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

"Where did you get the other ten points?" Snape asked.

"The cat gave it to Lavender and me because we didn't know she was a cat."

"Oh."

"So…. What should we do now?" Katie asked.

"Detention dismissed! You may go back to your tower, wherever that may be." And Katie walked back to the astronomy tower.


	5. Quidditch

"Wow. I expected you to be longer. If I'd known you'd be this early I wouldn't have been working on my collection of pots. I'm thinking of calling it Potter's Pottery." Said Lavender molding a vase when Katie returned. By a wave of her wand it all vanished.

"You know what, It like it. I think it's- Wait why are we talking about this? Anyway, Snape gave Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw another ten points! Now we have twenty! And Snape also took fifteen points from Gryffindor! We've got this in the bag!"

"Yeah! Okay, so we have to choose what class we're going to tomorrow. We can do Potions with Ravenclaw, Charms with Slytherin, Herbology with Hufflepuff, or Care of magical creatures with Gryffindor. What do you think?"

"We should do Potions with Ravenclaw! I bet we could get tons of points from Snape!"

"Yeah, I think that could happen. Agreed. Why does Snape like us so much?"

"I gave him dating advice."

"Which is….?"

"I told him to jump off a cliff."

"Oh. That makes so much sense. So…. We still have three hours till class starts. Wanna stay up or go to bed? I mean, we haven't slept in a day, so it might be 'good' for us. But do we ever do anything good for us?"

"No. And I ain't gonna start now. Let's stay up." So the night finished with them fixing up the room, and making pots and vases which Lavender had to teach Katie to do.

"Okay, when you have the shape of the pot or vase, that is when you start adding little doodlydads."

"Hmm…. your level of expertise is amazing."

"Oh, why thank you." Lavender whipped her hair. "Class is gonna start soon, wanna head down to breakfast?"

"Uh, sure. Although that might count as good for us." They skipped down the halls talking about how they now haven't slept in two days and feel amazing.

"I mean, we've like gone to bed at like, eight thirty every night in our lives so is it like now we don't need to sleep?" Lavender asked.

"Uh, maybe?" Katie said in a confused tone.

"Well, we're not sleepyoligests. So let's just leave it alone." They arrived in the great hall, and obviously started bickering again about which table to sit at.

"Slytherin!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Slytherin!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Slytherin!"

"Breakfast cheesecake!" Lavender pointed at the Hufflepuff table.

"Wha- Whoa!" Katie's mouth dropped open. "Okay, fair Hufflepuff, blah blah yeah. Cheesecake!" So they sat in the same seats and continued talking with Cedric.

"So, weren't you the two girls sorted into Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw?" Cedric asked.

"Yep." They both answered with mouths full of breakfast cheesecake.

"Do you have a tower?" They looked at each other. Suddenly they saw Cuthead and red-head idiot friend laughing and pointing at them.

"Lavender, Cuthead and his idiot friend. Gryffindor table." Katie made a nasty face.

"Yeah, so?" Lavender noticed Cedric had been listening. She motioned to him for Katie to see.

"Oh. I don't care, do you see them right now?" Katie tried to look away but couldn't. Idiot friend started making dreamy faces at Draco and continued laughing. "I'm gonna go over there and give them a taste of their own medicine! Which I hope is rotten, and bitter!" Katie yelled on her way to Gryffindor table.

"She's not actually going to do that, is she?"

"Umm…. let me go check." Lavender left the Hufflepuff table and ran after Katie.

"Oh you're gonna get it! How 'bout next time you take a dip into someone else's love life, you take a dip into yours! Frankly, you're doing worse than Tom Marvolo Riddle, who for your information, can't love!" Katie rushed out of her mouth before Lavender could stop her.

"Wait, how did you know that?" Lavender asked.

"I don't. Don't tell me." Katie replied.

"Oh, so I'm just going to assume it's normal you just mouth off whenever you feel like it. You know there are rules, I think you might notice if you ever eventually come down from your throne." Idiot redhead laughed. "Oh, who's this?" He said, pointing at lavender. "Is she your sidekick?"

"Ron stop." Harry mumbled

"What's wrong?" He whispered back.

"Just stop. You've gone far enough." Harry mumbled even louder.

"Okay, you take a shot at me, I can handle it. But you take a shot at my sister, I draw the line there. You're gonna apologize to her right now, or we can see if my foot is the right size for your face!" Katie screamed at him.

"Katie it's okay. Go back and sit down because I don't think you're old enough to hear what I'm about to say."

"We're the same age, but alright." Katie stayed true to Lavenders wishes, and sat back at the Hufflepuff table. Though, still listened to every word that was said afterwards like Cedric Diggory. "My name is Lavender Padma Potter, and I will not stand for this. Don't mess with me, don't mess with my sister, or you'll suffer the consequences." Lavender pointed right back at him. "You will leave Katie alone and, just so you know, that wasn't a request." And she walked back to the Hufflepuff table.

"You know, that took a lot of courage, you two." Said Cedric when Lavender returned.

"Thanks." Lavender scrunched her face. "Can we go back to our tower?" She said to Katie as she snuck a quick look at Cedric because she knew she was answering his question.

"Umm…. Sure." So they said their goodbyes to Cedric and started on their way to the astronomy tower. They flipped the tile and jumped down the three-hundred-yard drop. And again, landed on the old bed that was now fixed up.

"Well, class is gonna start soon. Wanna head out?" Lavender asked.

"Then, if we were just going to head out again, why did you take us back to Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw tower?"

"Because I had to check on my pots!"

"And, you're back." And so they left to the dungeons. When they were there, it was cold, poorly lit, and leaky.

"Man, I like this place already!"

"Katie, you're insane. But at least we're gonna get mad points from Snape!"

"Katie and Lavender Potter. Are you two girls in my class today?" Snape suddenly appeared from the dark corner.

"Yes." Katie mumbled in a dark tone trying to sound like Snape.

"Amazing impression. Five points to Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw!" Yelled Snape. "Now, just step into my classroom." He opened the door to a room that was brighter and warmer and not leaky at all.

"Wow. I feel so alive!"

"Lavender, do you realize you said that about a classroom?!"

"What? Ew!"

"Oh my god. That's so cool!" Yelled Katie now pointing at a jar of what looked like green worms labeled:

Gillyweed

"What's this 'Gillyweed?'"

"I don't know, but it is awesome!"

"Please take your seats. Class is about to begin." Lavender and Katie quickly sat down following Snape's orders. "Open your books and turn to page three hundred ninety-four." So Lavender opened their 'Potions For Beginners' books and started reading chapter fifty-two. It just really talked about the Gillyweed substance they saw and answered loads of their questions about it. Then for the rest of class Snape talked about root of asphodel and wormwood and asking about it and awarding points to Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw. It seemed like he was talking directly to them.

"And that concludes today's lesson. Class dismissed!" And everybody quickly stood and fled the classroom.

"So, next, we can do Defense against the Dark Arts with Slytherins, Charms with Gryffindor, Transfiguration with Hufflepuff, or Care of Magical Creatures with Ravenclaw. I kinda wanna do Care of Magical Creatures to see what the heck that's about, but also Defense Against the Dark Arts so you can hang out with Draco. Wanna do Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Lavender asked rushing to Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw tower to grab her books and (of course) check on her pots.

"OH YEAH!" Screamed Katie. "And by the way, you really need a bag. We can't just keep coming back to our tower because you need books."

"I would, but there are so many big heavy boring books to carry, and I'm working on a pot for that." And they rushed back down the halls to the room labeled:

Defense Against the Dark Arts

So they entered and saw a collection of paintings of one man. There was only one thing puzzling the girls. The pictures were moving. So Katie went and found Draco sitting near the edge of the room.

"Hi Draco." She said dreamily and just kept staring at his face.

Lavender rolled her eyes and said, "Why are those pictures moving?"

"They're wizard pictures. So, why wouldn't they move, exactly?"

Lavender nervously laughed and asked, "Will you excuse us for a moment?" She stood up and yanked Katie out of her seat and across the room. All of a sudden the door burst open and a man walked through. "I, am GILDEROY LOCKHART! Winner of Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honourary Member of the Dark Force Defence League; and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award."

"Uhh…?" Katie said loudly.

"Yes, did you have a question, girl who was sorted into that weird house?"

"No, just… (Thirty seconds later) that." All the Slytherins cackled loudly, calling out things like, "Brilliant!" and "Hilarious!" and "I just stepped on a piece of turkey!" Katie bowed and frowned she saw what 'GILDEROY LOCKHART!' was holding. It was a long, white, cylinder case labeled

Random Magical Pixel Cube Thingamabobbers.

"Wow, this man is a retard!" She whispered to Lavender.

"Hem hem, settle down please, settle down. Now today we have a creature of my own discovery, this is the Random Magical Pixel Cube Thingamabobber." Confused expressions fell across the class. 'GILDEROY LOCKHART!'opened the case and a long, blue rectangular prism shot out and smashed through the ceiling. It was followed by four more. Then the chandelier fell, littering the ground with crystals. The class screamed and scattered. "Pesky Pixel Ravioli!" The spell had no effect on the things whatsoever. All it did was make it start raining ravioli. 'GILDEROY LOCKHART!' ran out of the room. Since the pixels had broken through the ceiling and left, the kids decided to have the rest of period to themselves.

So Lavender went to check on her pots and Katie stayed to talk with Draco.

"So, anything interesting happening in your life?" Katie asked.

"Well, Slytherin is throwing some stupid annual party on Sunday, it's all day because, you know, the weekend. Slytherin Common Room. Wanna come?"

"Yeah, of course! Erm...where is Slytherin Tower?"

"Oh, it's behind a wall in the dungeons. The password is Meh."

"Oh, okay." And she went back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw tower.

"Kate! Where have you been, we're late for Quidditch!"

"AHH! LET'S GO!" Katie and Lavender sprinted at top speed to the Quidditch Pitch. Halfway there they decided that they should just ride their brooms. On the way down, they talked.

"So what house should we play for? We can't play for Gryffindor, I simply CANNOT be on a team with Cuthead."

"Okay, Ravenclaw?"

"Slytherin!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Slytherin!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Slytherin!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Slytherin!"

"Team cheesecake!"

"Wha- whoa!" The Hufflepuffs had a massive cheesecake and a sign that read:

Beaters Needed

As they slowly walked the field, Katie and Lavender grinned at each other and nodded. "Okay, Hufflepuff it is." And they walked to the Hufflepuff team.

"Lavender! Katie! Hi!"

"Hi Cedric!" They yelled even though he was less than a yard away.

"Are you two trying out for beaters?"

"Yeah." Said Katie staring at the cheesecake.

"Okay. Professor! These girls wanna try out for beaters!"

"Really?" Called Professor Sprout (Head of Hufflepuff).

"Really!" He replied. Professor Sprout hobbled over.

"Oh my! And riding Nimbus 2001's, too!" Cedric raised his eyebrows and jolted his head towards their brooms.

"Well, I heard Slytherin Team has all Nimbus 2001's." Said some random Slytherin boy passing by.

"They do? I wonder why Draco didn't tell me that…?"

"Yeah I did." Draco came up behind her.

"When?"

"Driving here in father's limo!"

"Ohhh, right!"

"Where were you, I didn't see you on the train."

"Oh, uhh…?"

"Well, Draco," Lavender said. "We didn't exactly know how to get onto the platform, so we apparated just outside of school grounds and walked in."

"Wow, Kate, you know how to apparate?!" He said, staring at Katie with wide eyes.

"Oh, you're calling me Kate now. Okay."

"Okay, Katie, we're getting called up for tryouts."

"Okay, gotta go. See you later, I guess."

"Wait, you're playing for Hufflepuff?"

"We switch it up every year, but Hufflepuff had two open spots and a cheesecake."

"Oh, okay, that's reasonable." And he walked away. Cedric tossed Katie and Lavender some beater's bats. "Good luck." He said.

"Thanks." Said Lavender. They mounted their brooms. "3," they cleared their minds. "2," they were only a bit nervous. "1," they were more and more anxious. They whistle blew and they pushed off. The people released two bludgers into the air from below.

A ball whizzed at Lavender's head. She yelped and smacked it so far that it broke a school window. Another shot for Katie's back.

"Katie! Behind you!" Lavender called. Katie twirled around and "Accidently" hit the bludger hit it right into Cuthead's face. The other bludger swirled around over Lavender's nose, just high enough for her not to see. Katie couldn't tell her because she was too busy being yelled at for hitting Cuthead with a bludger.

"Hey, he just happened to be where I hit the ball, besides, his girlfriend there can just magic him back the way he was! And if he blames-LAVENDER! YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET HIT IN THE NOSE WITH A BLUDGER!"

"Huh? AHH!" And she hit it at the same broken window which decided it learned its lesson and left Hogwarts. The whistle blew again.

"Okay," said Cedric

"Lavender, congratulations, you made the team, Katie, if we find no one else, so did you."

"Okay. Do I still get cheesecake?" Katie asked.

"Um...yeah, why not." So they all had cheesecake and talked about life. When they were done, they left a mess and they walked back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower.


	6. The Polyjuice Participants

Since it was Friday, and Quidditch was the last thingamabobber on their schedule, and the raging evil school day was over, and the weekend was here. "We only have some potions and herbology homework, and Snape told me that he'd give us twenty points for every question we answer, correct or not."

"Seriously, the advice was to take the kill himself and he thinks we're the best for that?"

"Yep, pretty much. Let's get started." So they got working. "Hey Lavender, is Feriverto the cup thing that make things that are alive cups?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Okay." She jogged down her answers. After fifteen minutes, they were done. "Hey, we get a bonus fifty points if we turn it in the day we get it...that's one hundred points!" She said.

"I kind of want cheesecake topped with sprinkles, ice cream, whipped cream, frosting, chocolate chips, gumdrops, gummy bears, sour patch kids, starburst, skittles, crushed Oreos, M _&_ M's, and jelly beans, and, that's it."

"Good idea." So they went down to magical dessert. While Katie didn't realize this because she was shoving her mouth with cheesecake, a boy with a weird Irish accent came up behind Lavender.

"Are you Lavender Potter?" He asked.

"Um, yeah. Why?"

He handed her a small white envelope. Because she didn't know the boy, she opened it slowly. But it was just a normal letter. It read:

Party

You are invited to the Gryffindor

Random Annual Party. It takes

Place all Sunday in the Gryffindor

Common Room. Hope we see

You there.

"Katie, what are we doing on Sunday?"

"I've got an all-day party with the Slytherins, why? National Pot Day or something?"

"Uhh…. Yes?"

"Oh, then we should open your Potter's Pottery place!"

"Yeah! Let's go back to the tower!" But as soon as they got up, Cuthead, Idiot Redhead Friend, and their girlfriend Brown-Haired Frizzy-Haired Geeky Girl stepped in their way.

"What do _you_ want?" Katie asked.

"Come with us." Cuthead said.

"Eww, no!" Katie screamed. So Idiot Redhead Friend just grabbed her by the waist and flung her over his shoulder, like you could expect from someone like him. Cuthead's Girlfriend went to find a reliable teacher to go tell, while Lavender just went to get Snape.

But on her way to the dungeons, some random Gryffindor dude stepped out in front of her. So she punched him down a staircase. So she got Snape and all the teachers searched the castle. She found Katie pretty quickly, walking calmly down a corridor with Draco.

"Where were you two?!"

"Uhh… Forbidden Forest?" Draco said.

"Why would you be there?"

"Uhh…"

"Draco, are you okay?" Lavender asked.

"Yeah, we're both fine." Said Katie.

"Yeah, Katie was by the…. Centaurs? Yeah, centaurs when I found her."

"Hmm…." Lavender said. "Okay." She knew something was wrong. Both of them were acting weird, and Draco called Katie Katie instead of Kate, because that was apparently a thing that existed now. "Okay Katie, let's go back to the tower. Lavender started to walk the way NOT leading to the Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw Tower. Once she was reasonably well-hidden, she spun around, face-to-face with Katie. "Who are you really?"

"I'm your sister!"

"Okay, 'sister,' where's the entrance to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower, and what's the password?"

"Er...I forgot."

"Both of them? It hasn't changed, you know."

"Er, the password is Cuthead Stinks and the tower is under the Staff Table in the Great Hall."

"Incorrect!" Lavender grabbed her hand and threw her into the wall. "Do you feel like telling me who you are now?"

"Still no."

"Well, feel like telling me how you found the recipe for the Polyjuice Potion?"

"No."

"How about where Katie and Draco are?"

"Never!" The fake Katie kicked Lavender in the foot and started to run.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Fake Katie became stiff and fell forward. "SNAPE! COME HERE!" She screamed. Snape randomly appeared out of nowhere.

"Got one?" He asked.

"A fake. You're the potions master. How do you reverse Polyjuice Potion?" Snape raised his eyebrows.

"You mean to tell me this isn't your sister?"

"Exactly."

Snape waved his wand and a potion bottle came soaring through the air. He drizzled some into fake Katie's mouth. She slowly became Cuthead.

"Okay, if we Un-Petrificus Totalus you, you tell us everything." Lavender said.

"Finite Incantatem!" Snape said, aiming his wand at Cuthead.

Cuthead squirmed and tried to escape. "Huh? I'm-"

"Shut up!" Lavender screamed.

"But-"

"I said SHUT UP!" Lavender screamed again. Snape summoned another potion bottle. He drizzled it into Cuthead's mouth. "What's that one do?" Lavender asked.

"Veritasium. Truth potion."

"Okay, where's my sister?"

"She's in the Gryffindor Common Room. But we took her wand and she's defenseless."

"Where _is_ her wand?"

"Right here." He held up a wand. Snape took the wand and gave it to Lavender.

"As for Draco?"

"He's in the locked in the closet in the boys dormitory because he and Katie kept trying to escape!"

"And _his_ wand?" Snape asked Cuthead in his dark toned voice.

"Ron has it! I don't know where he is!"

"Of course you don't." Lavender very sarcastically said.

"Come with me, Mr. Potter. We're going to free Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Potter and whoever else you have locked in Gryffindor tower." Snape grabbed him by his ear and dragged him down the hall. "You come too, Lavender." So Cuthead lead the group to Gryffindor tower. So they finally reached the entrance. "What's the password?"

"Er, one minute...Pink Unicorns."

Lavender looked at him like his head was bigger than the castle, and repeated: "Pink Unicorns." The portrait in front of them swung open. They stepped inside. It was really boring, there were no pots or anything! But there was a table of cheesecake, and, sure enough, Katie was shoving her face in it and making no attempt to escape whatsoever, because, you know, she's Katie.

So after a few more minutes of letting her shove her face with cheesecake while they got Draco, they just left. Most of the time they were walking was just Katie eating her extra cheesecake and Draco complaining and swearing. Before they finally reached Slytherin Tower, Draco decided to punch Crabbe and Goyle in the face because they put up no aggressiveness when Cuthead attacked him.

So they FINALLY got rid of him because angry Draco isn't what you need on a Friday night. So they told Snape to go away and went back to the tower. So they got there and Katie had a sugar crash because she apparently had a lot more cheesecake that Lavender expected.

"Hey Lavender, quiz me on the periodic table!"

"Why?"

"Just do!"

"Okay, what's the periodic symbol for potassium?"

"Either K or HSIYJZMFASDFVNDKJ."

"Um, you were right the first time. How about gold?"

"Hu."

"That's not even on the periodic table."

"Okay, then quiz me on life!"

"Um, what does Meh mean?"

"Um, it's what you say when you get eaten by a swordfish."

"Um, no, definitely not that."

"Goodnight."

"Finally." So they fell asleep, Katie after ten hours because she had a sugar crash.


	7. The Party(z)

They woke up in the morning and Katie was done with her sugar crash. Somehow some peoples managed to find Draco's wand and Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend got detention for three months and lost six hundred points from their house. So it was finally Saturday. That meant that Lavender made pots and Katie talked and talked because she had nothing better to do.

Around halfway through the day, she got up and left because she wanted cheesecake even though the staff of the school grounded her from cheesecake for a month after she got a sugar crash because she was sleepwalking and made a giant mess after crashing into Luna Lovegood. Lavender stayed in the tower and made pots. Pretty soon, her half of the place was just a mountains of pots. So she went onto the grounds and made a little stand with a big sign said:

Potter's Pottery

Pots and vases 🙂

By the end of the day, she'd made sixty thousand galleons, four thousand six hundred ninety-two sickles, and eight bronze knuts. "Hrm…" she said to herself. "I still have a lot of pots and vases. Hrm…." So she kept them for herself. When she got back to the tower, Katie was already there. Since it was already midnight, Katie was already asleep with a bunch of cheesecake. So Lavender also went to bed.

When they woke up in the morning, Katie said she had extra potions class, which they now referred to as points class. Lavender said she needed to make more pots for National Pot Day. Katie was going to the party in reality. Lavender hid her invitation in Cuthead's drink so he would choke on it. When Katie got to the party, Draco was waiting there,

"Hey _Katrina!_ " He yelled.

"Shut up." She said.

"Fine. Do you remember what the password was?"

"Um, it was Meh, right?"

"Yeah, thanks. Meh." The wall opened to reveal a room glowing with green. A bunch of peoples were dancing around and being weirdos. "Draco, um, why is Dumbledore here?"

"I honestly don't know. I think he was mad at the Gryffindors so he couldn't go there."

"Okay." So she did. Then, she saw a cheesecake, and, of course, ate the entire cake. Then she saw five more. It kept repeating until she got another sugar crash. "Draco, quiz me on the periodic table!"

"The what?"

"The periodic table!"

"Listen, I wasn't brought up by muggles, so I never had to study that thing!"

"Okay, then quiz me on MAGIC!"

"Okay, what's the Death Curse?"

"Merpedy merpy merp merp."

"Nope."

"Or maybe Avada Kedavra."

"Yep."

"I want more cheesecake! Cheesecake Cheesecake!" Suddenly, Dumbledore came up behind them.

"Miss Potter, Professor Snape would like to have a word with you."

"Okay!" She squealed, and skipped away down to the dungeons. "Hi Snape! What's happenin'?"

"Let's just say I won't tell the rest of the staff you ate cheesecake." He lifted his wand. "Cakeo Removeo." (Not a real spell, guys.) Katie's sugar crash disappeared.

"Whoa, I apparated in Hogwarts grounds!"

"Um, no, no you didn't, you-"

"I've broken the laws of magic!"

"No, no you haven't-"

"I'm amazing!"

"KATIE!"

"What?"

"You walked here in a sugar crash, and I removed it."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. I remember that."

"Yeah."

"What do you want me for?"

"About those Gryffindor folks who kidnapped you."

"I was kidnapped?"

"Um, yeah."

"Oh, I thought they just wanted to get rid of some extra cheesecake."

"So you weren't at all concerned when they took a strand of your hair?"

"Should I have been?"

"Um, typically, as a human being, yes, very concerned."

"Well, I wasn't. So what were you saying?"

"Oh, yes. When I used the Finite Incantatem spell, which by the way removes ALL spells someone is under, on, what do you call him? Cuthead, I managed to lift an Imperius Curse. Every Gryffindor exception Miss Granger were all Imperiused."

"What?! By who?"

"Death Eaters."

"But don't you work with them?"

Snape's face turned pink. "Um, no, I'm, uh, a _former_ Death Eater, but I quit after The Dark Lord killed y…" Snape went blank. "Lily Evans."

"You mean the one you keep babbling about in Victorian Flower Language?"

Blank again. "Yes."

"Okay, bye."

"Goodbye."

"Wait…."

"Yes?"

"Did they get _all_ the points back?"

"Minus 200 Miss Granger and minus 10 every student who ran into a Death Eater base."

"Cool." She walked back to the party.

"Wow, ten minutes in you've already sugar crashed _and_ gotten kicked out?" Draco said lazily.

"Not _kicked out,_ just removed for a few minutes."

"Yeah, okay." He rolled his eyes.

"Do we still have lunch?"

"What?"

"Lunch?"

"What about it?"

"The meal."

"I know what it is, what about it?"

"Do we still have lunch?"

"What do you mean?"

"Goodbye. Be right back." She went back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower. "Lavender!"

"What?"

"Go to your party!"

"Huh?"

"Gryffindor Random Annual Party!"

"How do you…?"

"I pulled the invite out of your trunk when I was sleepwalking."

"But why would I go?"

"Merp."

"Merp?"

"Um, all of them except for Cuthead's girlfriend were Imperiused."

"Ohhhhhhhhh...that makes no sense but it makes perfect sense. Bye!"

"See ya." She walked back to Slytherin Tower. When she went inside, Draco for some reason wasn't in the tower at all. Someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and saw Pansy Parkinson.

"Yes?" Katie asked.

"You're Katie?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Draco got detention."

"Why?"

"I don't know, something stupid."

"Merp."

"What?"

"I said where is detention?"

"Either in the Forbidden Forest, or um…. The cheesecake convenient store!"

"Well I know which I'm gonna check first!" So Katie ran to the front door, she knew Parkinson was lying, but the cheesecake convenient store! Since the store was in Hogsmeade, it would take over twenty minutes to get there, but it was worth the while.

There were all kinds of cheesecake: Raspberry, Blueberry, Blackberry, Strawberry, Lemon, Chocolate, Carrot, Orange, Maple, any cake you can think of.

After twenty minutes of picking out "A few" (all of the cakes in the store) cakes, she bought them and ate all of them, and you can probably predict what happened next.

Then she walked all the way back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower, and when she got there, Lavender was screaming for help because she had made so many pots, she couldn't find her way out of the room. And because Katie was on a sugar crash, she immediately did a Scrooge McDuck dive into the pots and sniffed her out. They pulled themselves up to the top of the pool of pots and vases, and decided Lavender had a problem. So they somehow found the 'Potters Pottery' sign and stand after twenty minutes of hard work and not trying to suffocate.

Katie and Lavender piled pots all over the place and very soon attracted students. Screaming and yelling filled the air and within two hours, all the pots were gone.

"Got ourselves quite the business, haven't we Katie?" Draco appeared from behind the stand.

"Draco, make up your mind, what's my name?" Katie smiled.

"I'm just gonna go over there and pretend not to listen." Lavender went and crouched down behind a small stone. Five feet away from them.

"Your name is Katie from now on. Alright then, I just finished serving detention in the forbidden forest and thought I'd drop by."

"What? Parkinson told me told me you had detention in…." Katie thought about this for a moment, but decided she didn't want to be embarrassed that she thought it was in the cheesecake convenient store. "Umm…. 'GILDEROY LOCKHART'S!' room."

"Well…." Draco saw a body zoom by in the distance. "I really should be getting along then. Goodnight. And you too, weird one."

Lavender popped up her head, "Thanks!"

"Whoa!" Said Katie climbing the mountain of money. "We should do this every day! We'd be millionaires!"

"Uh, yeah, that could happen." Lavender had a nervous expression on her face while she hid a vase behind her back.

"Lavender, I know that look. What have you got?" Katie rolled up her sleeves.

"Nothing! Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I'm gonna go eat cheesecake!"

"Ah, yes, that's very important. Carry on," Lavender left so fast Katie wondered if there was an acromantula behind her.

"Hi Aragog!" Katie turned and waved her right arm, which she'd earlier cut, and the scar look something like a skull. "Ugh, Cuthead." Cuthead had appeared out of nowhere. "Here to get rid of some extra cheesecake again! Or maybe find a place for your date with Gryffindor girlfriend!"

"Hermione wants me to get her a vase." Cuthead said taking a long look at her right arm.

"Does she." Katie looked all over the place and found a small vase behind the rock Lavender was hiding behind and figured she tried to stash it.

Katie threw it right at his face and yelled, "Keep the change, you filthy cockroach!" She laughed as Cuthead scrambled to his feet, grabbed the vase which surprisingly didn't break into tiny pieces, and left, holding his bloody nose.


	8. The Quidditch Match

They woke up the next morning and their first thought was 'ughhh, Monday.' Katie flopped on the floor and hit her head on the wall a few extra times to wake up. Lavender was already gone so she probably had extra points class or something. It was still six A.M. so she decided she'd clean Lavender's side of the room because, believe it or not, being the friendly one doesn't necessarily make you the neat one.

She went down for breakfast two and a half hours later when she was done. She sat next to Lavender and Cedric at the Hufflepuff table and started eating cheesecake. They were talking about life when a voice came booming from the Gryffindor table:

 _RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WAS POSSIBLY GOING THROUGH YOUR DREADFUL LITTLE MIND! YOU'RE LUCKY THE STAFF THERE IS FRIENDLY! STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU! YOU JUST WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE, DID YOU? BUT I DREW THE LINE WHEN I GOT THE LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME! WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE DIED! YOUR OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR MAKES US ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED...YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!_

Katie broke out in laughter and yelled: "YOU'RE MIDDLE NAME IS _BILIUS_?!"

Idiot Redhead Friend turned the same color as his hair. Cuthead's girlfriend held back Cuthead as he tried to get up and run at her. Despite Cedric covering her mouth and Lavender repeatedly elbowing her, Katie's laughter was still quite audible to everyone.

"Katie, stop, someone's going to murder you any day now!" Lavender said.

"If you shut up, you can be on the quidditch team!" Cedric gasped frantically.

The room went silent. Katie stopped laughing and started hyperventilating. Five minutes later, they got her to shut up completely. The day was EXTREMELY boring: Charms, Double Transfiguration, Care for Magical Creatures, Points, Muggle Studies, Astronomy, blah blah blah...until… _Rip, tear kill!_

"Who said that?" Lavender called. They were walking back up to the tower when a voice hissed just that. They followed to where they thought it was. They ended up on the twelfth floor, where they rounded a corner and, since Katie was in front, she clunked heads with Cuthead. They both fell to the ground. "Owwwwwwwwwwwwww!" She moaned. She had fallen into a puddle of water.

Everyone there seemed petrified staring at the wall. Written in blood were the words:

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened enemies of the heir...beware

"Written in blood." Cuthead's girlfriend stated.

"What does it mean?" Asked Idiot Redhead Friend.

"If I knew, I'd tell you." She replied.

...

"Heir of what?" Katie asked.

"What are _you_ _two_ doing here?" Cuthead's girlfriend asked sassily.

"Following the strange voice that we'd never heard before that was threatening to kill us." Lavender said calmly. "What are you doing here?"

The other three exchanged shocked and confused looks. "You guys heard it too?" Cuthead asked.

"Of course, we're not deaf!" Katie and Lavender said together. Then a bunch of random peoples appeared from every surrounding area at the exact same time (Well, isn't that convenient.). Draco was close to the front of one of the crowds. "Enemies of the heir beware?" He smirked. "You'll be next, mudbloods."

"What's a mudblood?" Katie asked. Idiot Redhead Friend turned around and stomped on her face since she never stood up.

"Uhh, ow!" She yelled. Bouncing to her feet, she whipped up her wand and aimed it at him.

"KATIE, STOP!" Several voices yelled.

Too late. Katie screamed "Anteoculatia!" And two large antlers sprouted from Idiot Redhead Friend's head. She gave Cuthead a snotty look and rushed through the cheering crowd of Slytherins to get away. Lavender looked at them, mouthed sorry, and chased after her. She kept running until she noticed a door that she'd never noticed before.

She flung it open, dove into it, and slammed the door shut. She looked up, and, to her great shock and delight, it was full of cheesecake. "Hallelujah!" She yelled, and she began to shove her face. After five minutes and fifty cheesecakes, a thought crossed her mind. "Why would a school have a room of cheesecake?" Her answer ended up being because why not. Then it was because that is an awesome school.

Then it came to her. "Ohhhhhhh…" She said to herself. "I'm in the Room of Requirement! That makes much more sense." She counted the cheesecakes as she ate them: "Ninety-two, ninety-three, ninety-four..." (Five minutes later) "One hundred and sixty-six, one hundred and sixty-seven…" (Two hours later)

"Four hundred twenty three thousand eight hundred forty-six, Four hundred twenty three thousand eight hundred forty-seven, Four hundred twenty three thousand eight hundred forty-eight, Four hundred twenty three thousand eight hundred forty-nine…" COMPLETE BLACKOUT. She woke up two hours later.

"I'm hungry." She said to herself. It was one in the morning, so she got up. She didn't really know her way around, so she walked back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower. Inexplicably tired, she flopped on the bed and passed out. It was six hours before she and Lavender were up again.

"KATIE KATIE KATIE KATIE KATIE! WAKE UP!" Lavender was jumping on Katie and screaming.

"Merp, no." Katie replied lazily.

"Come on, there's a Quidditch match in ten minutes!" Lavender yelled anxiously.

"I'm up!" Katie shouted, jolting up.

So they quickly sprung out of bed, got dressed, and ate a quick breakfast, then rushed down to the Quidditch Pitch. "There you are, we were worried you wouldn't come!" Cedric yelled.

"Sorry!" Katie yelled. "Who are we playing?"

"Gryffindor. And they don't stand a chance. Katie, you won't get in trouble for hitting people with bludgers today. Plus, both of you have Nimbus 2001's."

"Who's their Keeper?" Lavender asked politely.

"Oliver Wood." Cedric replied calmly.

"Pshaw. They _really_ don't stand a chance. Now let's go, we've got a game to win." Katie yelled confidently. The team flew out onto the field, where the Gryffindor team was already waiting. Katie grinned deeply when she saw Cuthead in the seeker position. Cuthead closed his eyes and shook his head confidently, trying to ignore her, then opened his eyes, inhaled, and tightened his grasp on his broomstick.

Madam Hooch blew her whistle and everyone pushed off the ground. The first was Katie Bell of Gryffindor scoring on Hufflepuff. Immediately after that, Katie Potter hit a bludger as hard as she could at other Katie, knocking her unconscious off her broom. Satisfied, Katie smiled and smirked at Cuthead.

Before she knew it, Fred and George Weasley of Gryffindor were targeting her with bludgers. She smiled and nodded at Lavender, Lavender nodded back, and they each hit one off of his broom. They both fell to the ground, and their bats landed on top of them. One of them was out cold, the other seemed to have fractured his arm.

With the beaters gone, Hufflepuff was set to win the game. Only one problem...Gryffindor still had a keeper.

"Which of us should take out Wood?" Katie yelled to Lavender.

"You can, if you want."

"Okay!" Katie happily dove down to Wood, just before hitting him in the ear with a bludger. This made Cuthead especially angry, and he dove down at Katie. So she just flew out of the way, making Cuthead uncontrollably crash into a crowd of Gryffindors. She flew back up to tell Lavender, but then saw Wood was back up, his ear drenched in blood. "Lavender!" Katie called. "We both need to take Wood at once. Our chasers can score and it'll buy Cedric more time to catch the snitch!"

"Okay, ready, three, two, one!" They both hit bludgers at Wood. Katie's hit him square in the chest, and Lavender's hit his broomstick. He lost control of the thing and was flung into the dead center of the Quidditch Pitch. "Ha!" Katie yelled. "Cedric, did you find it yet?" Katie screamed.

"You'll know when I've found it!" He screamed back.

"Well Lavender, I guess we only have those two Gryffindor chasers left."

"I'll take Johnson, you take Spinnett!"

"Okay!" They each hit a chaser in the head and they both fell off of her broom. There were several hopeless cries from the Gryffindor stands, until…."

"Wow, Harry Potter is still in this thing!" Cried Lee Jordan, the announcer person.

"What?" Katie yelled. Indeed, Cuthead was up again, and flying on his broom.

"Cedric, hurry, you've got a challenger!"

"Huh? Oh, okay!" Cedric spun his head around frantically, his eyes peeled for the snitch. After failing to hit Cuthead with a bludger a few times, Katie and Lavender just looked for the snitch as well. And, five minutes later, Lavender, out of her peripheral vision, saw the small golden ball fluttering over Cuthead's glasses. So she did the first thing she could think of, and hit a bludger at his face. She zoomed right past him, letting her broom hit him.

"Cedric! Over here!" She yelled.

"Coming!" He called. Lavender saw him fly in front of her. He stood up on his broom and reach for the snitch over Cuthead.

"Cedric! What are you doing?" Lavender called. Unable to reach it from where he was, Cedric leapt off his broom and over Cuthead. He caught the snitch and landed epicly on his broom again. Every crowd cheered and gasped, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, even the Slytherins and even some of the Gryffindors.

(Yep, that's right, we just single-handedly broke Harry's win streak even though that's not supposed to happen until the third book! BOOM!)


	9. The (Pathetic) Dueling Club

Madam Hooch blew her whistle again, and the Gryffindors and the Slytherins pushed off into the air. "Slytherin, yeah!" Katie yelled. Then she looked back at Lavender. "It just occurred to me, do you think Dumbledore would let us tell Laura about Hogwarts?"

"Well, Kate, Laura's a muggle, so he might want to know her first or else he might think she'll tell everyone about the wizarding world."

Alauralynn, or Laura for short, was their best friend from the orphanage. They hadn't talked to her since they left, and Katie hadn't made much use of Lord Dunmore since she'd got him. As for Lavender, she'd been using MUFFIN to send multiple letters to Luna Lovegood, who she met when she went to get cheesecake after selling pots with Katie.

"Well, I guess if you asked Dumbledore first, maybe you could." Lavender said. Then she continued watching the game. After five minutes, she turned to Katie and said, "Look at that bludger. What's wrong with it?"

"It seems to be following Cuthead." Katie replied in a confused tone.

"I wonder if I could go ask Dumbledore or Snape about it…?"

"Go ahead, nothing will happen here. Hopefully."

"Okay, bye." Lavender stood up and trotted through the peoples in the Slytherin stands. When she finally got down from the stands, she looked and saw that the staff stands were on the other side of the Quidditch Pitch. "Hrm, how do I get over there? I've got it!" She said to herself. "Fly around the stands!" So Lavender took out her broom and started flying. So, finally, she came behind the staff stands.

She hopped off her broom and sprinted up the stairs. When she was about halfway up, she heard extreme commotion from the stands, so she looked out to see what was happening. It appeared that Draco and Cuthead had both seen the Snitch, and were diving for it, being steadily tailed by the Bludger chasing Cuthead. Lavender saw Katie eagerly watching from the Slytherin stands, her eyes bulging out of her face. Lavender saw Draco and Cuthead dive under the stands. So she continued running up the stands. Every now and then, she glanced out to see what was happening with the game.

Thirty seconds later, the crowd gasped loudly. Katie swore loudly. "Uh-oh. This can't be good." Lavender said to herself. She peeked out and saw that Draco had apparently fallen off his broom and Cuthead was still chasing the snitch and being tailed by the Bludger. She grunted and started walking again, just before hearing Lee Jordan shout: "Harry Potter has caught the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!"

Through immense cheering from the Gryffindors, Katie swore so loudly that people on the other side of the world could have heard it. Lavender peeked out of the stands and saw that Cuthead had also fallen off of his broom, and the Bludger was still trying to attack him. Then his girlfriend came rushing down and exploded the Bludger because WHY NOT? Lavender didn't really see the rest of it, because a bunch of teachers came shoving down past her, but the final result was Cuthead having no bones in his arm.

This made Katie highly amused, as it was, when Lavender found her ten minutes later, she couldn't stop laughing. "Katie, I get you don't like the kid and that you find it amusing to watch him get hurt, but Gryffindor just took victory to Slytherin! Plus, your best friend just literally flew off of his broom and out of the ground!"

"I-I get it, and I'll-I'll give Draco my excuse l-later!" Then she broke out in a fit of coughing.

Just then, people started to clear the stands. Lavender rolled her eyes and they both walked back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower. So she eventually got Katie to shut up by making a pile of cheesecake for her to shove in her face. Then she, unsurprisingly, went and made some more pots.

So that was how they spent the rest of their day (Cheesecake and pots...ideal day.). It was that night when once again they heard: _"Rip, tear kill!"_

"I SWEAR, I DID MY HOMEWORK! Wait, what?" Katie yelled, bolting upright in her bed. Lavender laughed, then became serious again.

"Did you say that?" She asked strictly.

"What, the 'rip, tear, kill?' No."

"Isn't that what we heard the day Filch's cat was attacked?"

"Um...I dunno. Uhh…."

"It was."

"If you knew, why did you ask?!"

"Who knows?"

"Wanna' go investigate? I doubt we'll run into anyone at this time of night."

"Sure. Let's go."

So they followed the voice and it led them to the hospital wing. From the far side of the room, they heard someone say: "Repeat itself? You mean this has all happened before?"

"Great, of all the people that could possibly be awake right now, we get Cuthead." Katie whispered.

"Ahh! I shouldn't have said that! Bad Dobby, bad bad bad…."

"Dobby? Isn't that the name of Draco's House-Elf?" Lavender whispered to Katie.

"You stole the words off my tongue."

Cuthead was about to say something else, but then they went silent. The sound of footsteps filled the air. Dobby snapped his fingers and disappeared, and Cuthead rolled over and pretended to be sleeping. Then they heard McGonagall's voice: "There has been another attack! Maybe he managed to snap a picture of his attacker?" Katie peeked out from behind the curtain.

It was a Gryffindor boy called Colin Creevey, who always had a camera with him. The teachers opened the camera and it exploded. Katie and Lavender looked at each other, then looked back at the peoples. "What does it mean, professor?" McGonagall asked nervously.

"It is as we feared, Minerva. The Chamber of Secrets has been reopened." Then all the teachers ran away, leaving the petrified dude there. As soon as they were gone, Katie bounced up and marched over to Cuthead's hospital bed.

"You've got quite the nerve, you know that? Forcing information out of an innocent elf...you're pure evil!"

Cuthead turned over and faced her. "No, I didn't, he told me!"

"LIAR!" She yelled, and she stormed off.

"NO, I'M NOT!" Cuthead yelled back.

"Lavender, come on!" Katie's voice called.

"Sorry-"

"Lavender!" She ran back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower, where, somehow, Katie already was. "Lavender, look at this, a dueling club!" Katie waved a paper in the air.

"Really? When?"

"Tomorrow!"

"Let's do it!"

"Okay!"

They woke up the next morning, and trotted down to breakfast...at six thirty. Lavender had some eggs and bacon, and of course, a couple pieces of cheesecake, and Katie ate everything else at the Hufflepuff table. That all took only five minutes. Then they decided Katie had a problem. Then they went down to the Quidditch Pitch to hit some Bludgers.

Lavender hit a couple at the rings where the opponent team's will usually be. Katie just hit them at invisible players and the Gryffindor stands. Time flew by, and next thing they knew it was seven o'clock. They noticed that the Hufflepuff table must have filled itself again, because their whole team was coming out to practice.

So they just landed and pretended they were there the whole time. "Last game was amazing, we absolutely DESTROYED Gryffindor." Cedric said. "But will we be the same against Slytherin? They've _all_ got Nimbus 2001's. They might be a bit tougher to defeat."

"Come on, did you see how they played against Gryffindor? They sucked!" Zacharias exclaimed. (Again, assuming he's on the Quidditch team #FandomFail.)

"They weren't _that_ bad." Katie mumbled.

"NOT THE POINT!" Cedric yelled. Zacharias puffed his cheeks and held it for a few seconds before he exhaled. "As, I, was saying, Slytherin team has all Nimbus 2001's. If we win the match tomorrow, we only have Ravenclaw left. If we take down both, we go into the championship game. If we win that, the cup is ours. If we want to accomplish that, we have to train for it. Let's go Hufflepuffs...and Gryfinslitherhuffleclaws." So they practiced until eight when they all left for class.

"So…. Points or History of Magic?"

"Budopadopdadadopa, cheesecake! History of Magic!"

So walked down to the History of Magic classroom. The Professor, Professor Binns, happened to be a ghost for some reason. "Um, excuse me sir, but how did you die?" Katie asked, trying and failing to be polite. Professor Binns stared down at her.

"Dunno." He replied. "Okay, today we will learn about the Emeric the Evil. Emeric the Evil was a short-lived but exceptionally aggressive wizard. He was once the master of the Elder Wand and, with it, he terrorised the south of England in the early Middle Ages. He was "slaughtered" in a ferocious duel against Egbert the Egregious. Egbert the Egregious was once Master of the Elder Wand after killing Emeric the Evil in a ferocious duel. What became of Egbert after mastering the Elder Wand is unknown, but as the life expectancy of medieval duelers was generally short, it is likely that he was murdered shortly after."

The room was silent. "Is that it?" Lavender asked.

"Yep. Class dismissed."

"That was an awfully short class."

There was a reason for this apparently: _They had Divination with the freaking Gryffindors for the rest of the day!_ That was the longest day they'd had yet...Let's just say it didn't work out. It wasn't at all interesting until: "Time to go!" They were in Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower, and they were going to a Dueling Club being advertised all over the school.

(Five minutes later) "I am pleased that Dumbledore has given me permission to start this little Dueling Club." Said 'GILDEROY LOCKHART!'. "May I introduce my assistant, Professor Snape!"

"Yeah, yeah, we know who he is." Katie whispered to Draco.

They Both laughed a little bit before hearing Snape's voice shout, "Expelliarmus!" 'GILDEROY LOCKHART!' was sent flying into the air and landed with a distressing plump. Katie grinned.

"Well played, Professor Snape, but as it was quite obvious what you were about to do, I felt that stopping it would be just too easy."

Katie buried her face into her hands to avoid showing that she had tears of laughter.

"Maybe it would be useful to first teach the students to block, unfriendly spells."

"Uhh...yes, of course, let's have a volunteer pair. Uhh, Potter, Weasley, come up." He pointed at Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend.

"Weasley's wand is crappy, we'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in the form of a rubber duck."

Tears of laughter spewed down Katie's face. "Might I suggest someone from my own house?" Asked Snape. "Malfoy, perhaps?"

Through tears and laughter, Katie punched Draco in the back towards the dueling place thing. He stumbled up and faced Cuthead. They walked to the center of the room and did some weird thingy with their wands. "Scared, Potter?" She heard Draco say.

"You wish." Cuthead replied. They walked back to the other sides of the room.

"What was the point of walking all the way there if they were just gonna walk right back where they started?" Katie asked Lavender, clearing up her laughter.

"I think it's part of a proper wizarding duel, but I don't know for sure."

Draco said some spell that sent Cuthead doing backflips into a wall. At this, Katie laughed so hard she got light headed, so she kinda stopped paying attention for a few minutes. But when she came to her senses, there was a random snake that Cuthead was trying to talk to. "Get away from Justin!" he yelled. She started laughing even harder this time.

She felt someone punch her in the arm. "Ow. What do you want?" It was Parkinson.

"Shh." She pointed at the snake.

Katie then realized that everyone except for Lavender had a look of shock and fear on his face. "It's a snake. Big deal." Katie whispered.

"No, you idiot, he's a parselmouth!"

"He is?"

"Yes, don't you hear it?"

Katie listened sharply.

"Get away from Justin!" Cuthead repeated.

"No." Katie whispered to Parkinson. "He said to get away from Justin."

"No he didn't, you idiot." Parkinson replied snottily.

Snape waved his wand and the snake vanished in an instant.

"What are you playing at?" Asked Justin Finch-Fletchley, sounding terrified.

"Yeah, that was a pathetic attack. As if it would listen to you!"

Cuthead appeared not to have heard this, because he and his cronies ran out of the room in a panic.

"Well, I guess we can continue dueling. Partner up!" Said 'GILDEROY LOCKHART!' Katie shook her head and rolled her eyes, then went to find Lavender so they could leave. So they did, and walked back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower.

"What was everyone so shocked about?" Katie asked.

"Dunno. All Cuthead did was-"

"Try to tell a snake what to do? Pshaw."

"I was gonna say do his best attempt to save that Hufflepuff, but I guess your answer works too."


	10. Moaning Myrtle

News had spread around the school that the Gryffindor Ghost, Nearly-Headless Nick, and the Hufflepuff boy, had been attacked the night before, just after the Dueling Club, but the two were too tired to care. Exhausted, they woke up. Droplets of sunlight were dancing around the room. They were almost ready to complain when: "IT'S THE WEEKEND!" Katie screamed.

"YAY! SO MANY THINGS TO DO!"

"WANNA GO BOTHER DUMBLEDORE?"

"YES!" So they went to the Great Hall dancing in circles screaming: "DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE!"

"Girls, you really need to stop doing this."

"Okay, but we wanted to talk."

"Yes?"

"Well, first we were wondering if we could tell our muggle friend, Laura, about the wizarding world."

Dumbledore pursed his lips. "Laura what?"

"Her name is Alauralynn Drummer, sir."

"Ahh, yes. The Drummers. Yes, you may."

"Really, wow, that was easier than I thought it would be!" Katie exclaimed, sounding satisfied.

"Wait, Dumbledore, how do you know the Drummers?"

"Ahh, well, Laura has an older sister."

"Amelia, we know." They said together.

"She, is a witch. She left Hogwarts six years ago."

"Ohhh, okay." Said Lavender.

"Also, Dumbledore, do owls get bored?"

"Um…."

"Because I almost never use my owl, and I don't want him to get bored."

"Uhh, maybe? I'm no owl, I don't know. May I leave now?"

"Yes, fine." So they went up to the owlery to write a letter. When they were done, it said:

Hi Laura!

It's Katie and Lavender, and, get this, we're writing to you from a school of MAGIC! (It's Hogwarts if that wasn't clear: Same place your sister went.) We even got our own delivery owls! We're using mine (This is Katie right now, by the way.) to send this to you, his name is Lord Dunmore. Lavender's is named Muffin (MUFFIN -Lavender) and we couldn't use her because we don't have her right now, but she's a Saw-Whet owl. We've both made a few friends here at school. My best friend here is named Draco Malfoy. He's pretty cool, and in Slytherin house. Tell us what's happening there by attaching a letter to the owl's foot and throwing it out a window.

Hello Laura! It's Lavender now, if it wasn't clear by the change in handwriting. My best friend here is named Luna Lovegood, and she's in Ravenclaw house. I was surprised my sister didn't mention it, but we got into a house called Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw, and, get this, we're the first to ever be sorted into this house! It's so much fun here, and who knows? Maybe you'll get in next year. Hope you're having fun and keep us posted on what's happening!

Thanks,

\- Lavender and Katie

"Hrm...maybe we should just explore the school today." Lavender said.

"Lord Dunmore, get down here!" The owl didn't move.

"Or maybe we should just stay in the tower…."

"Come here, stupid bird!" He still didn't move. She ended up climbing up the owl perches, scaring him, chasing him around for five minutes, then finally tying the letter to his foot, chasing him for another five minutes, then finally getting him out the window. "Okay Lavender, what were you saying?" Katie said, panting.

"Currently that I wish Hogwarts had better Wi-Fi so I could have recorded that."

"But before that. Something about what we're doing today?"

"Oh, right, I said we should explore the school today."

"Okay, sounds fun. Let's go." First they ended up in a dead end corridor with a statue of a one-eyed witch. When they were near it, they just felt this sudden urge to tap their wands on it and say: _Dissendium._ So they did, and the thing opened up, revealing a hidden passageway. So they decided they'd check it out later and left. As soon as they walked away, the passage closed.

Next they went down into a corridor with a large framed picture of a smallish basket of fruit. They leaned on it for some reason, and their hair was on the pear. Suddenly, scaring the living heck out of them, it broke out laughing. Then they decided to start tickling it, just to see if it would laugh more. And it did, then magically turned into a door handle.

So they opened it and saw...THE KITCHEN! Lavender quickly had to drag Katie out of there so that the other people could actually get a chance to eat. "But, Lavender, what if _I_ want to eat now?"

"You can wait. You greedy person."

"How long do I have to wait?"

"Just another, what time is it? Two and a half hours." She replied, glancing around for a clock. Katie groaned, but continued walking. Next, they ended up in a random bathroom somewhere. They were turning around to leave when Katie tripped on something.

"Clumsy, what was that? Huh? What the…?"

There was a spilled cauldron leaking potion all over the floor. "I apparently tripped on a cauldron." Katie replied in a confused tone. "It almost looks like...no…."

"Polyjuice potion. Yes." Lavender stated.

"Who would be brewing Polyjuice Potion in the middle of a girl's bathroom in broad daylight?" Katie asked, staring at the pot.

"Dunno."

"Do you think we should tell Dumbledore?"

"No, we've annoyed him enough for one day, we've got to tell Snape!" Katie declared.

"No, no, don't inform anyone!" Said a high-pitched, squeaky voice.

"Who's there?" They asked at the same time, tearing out their wands.

"I'm here!" Came the voice again.

"Who are you?"

"I'M ME!" A ghost of a little girl floated through a stall door.

"Um...who are you?"

"MOANING MYRTLE!"

"Oh, well, um, why don't you want us to tell Snape about the Polyjuice?"

"I wouldn't suspect you to care! No one cares about 'stupid old Moaning Myrtle!' They're gonna be furious about the potion. Takes months to brew, Polyjuice. And you just destroyed it!"

"WHO IN THE NAME OF CHEESECAKE WOULD BREW POLYJUICE IN A GIRLS BATHROOM!" Katie yelled.

"What she means to say is, WHO WOULD POSSIBLY WANT TO BREW A POTION YOU HAVE TO DRINK IN A GIRL'S TOILET?!"

"Well now all I want to know is, WHO IN THE NAME OF CHEESECAKE IS 'THEY?'"

"Who other than Harry Potter and his friends?" Said the ghost.

"Harr-Cuthead."

"Huh? Oh! You're Katie! Ohhh, nooo, I shouldn't have told you that! Ohhh, Harry will be so mad...!"

"Yeah he will!" Katie said sassily.

Through high protest from Myrtle, they went to the dungeons to go find Snape. "NO! STOP! I BEG YOU!" She yelled, chasing them.

"Never!" Katie yelled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!"

"Please, stop, stop!" They burst through the doors leading to the Great Hall, where a bunch of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were already eating breakfast at seven in the morning. "Please don't tell!" Myrtle screamed.

The hall filled with whispers. "Tell what?" Cuthead screamed.

Katie grinned. "Yeah, Myrtle, tell what?"

Myrtle broke out in tears and flew away towards her bathroom. Looking worried, Cuthead, Idiot Redhead Friend, and Gryffindor Girlfriend ran after Myrtle.

"Let's NOT tell." Katie whispered to Lavender.

"Well, we don't even have to anymore. It's a complete secret so, I bet half the school already knows." She whispered back. And they left.

When they returned to Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw Tower, they saw Lord Dunmore sitting on Katie's bed with a letter tied to his leg. They picked it up and saw it was from their friend Laura. "Wow, that was fast." Katie said, as they quickly opened it and read:

Dear Katie and Lavender,

I asked my older sister Amelia to tell me about Hogwarts after I got your letter. Are there really changing staircases and dungeons?! Amelia also said that she was in the house of your friend Draco Malfoy, And that her favorite class was called 'Care for Magical Creatures.' Although, she didn't like Transfiguration. What are those classes about? She also mentioned being on a Quidditch team. What's Quidditch? Is it a sport? Are you on a quidditch team? Nothing's going on here. Just same-old same-old. Please keep me posted on what's going on at Hogwarts.

-Laura

"Amelia was in Slytherin? How? We have to find out more about this!" Lavender said.

"Of course, but it's not like we can just write a letter to Amelia and ask why she was in Slytherin!"

"We could go and ask Draco if he knows anything."

"Yeah, okay." So they left Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw Tower and started from the dungeons.

When they were almost there, they ran into Professor Snape.

"What are you girls doing?"

"We would like to see Draco and ask him some questions…. but uh…. Professor, was there ever a Slytherin named Amelia Drummer?" Katie asked

"Quite strange you ask. There _was_ a Slytherin named Amelia Drummer."

"Um, is she a Pure-Blood?"

"I believe she is a Half-Blood, why?"

"Well, she's the sister of our friend Laura, and we were just wondering her odds of getting into Hogwarts."

"I suppose that's reasonable." And he continued walking in the opposite direction.

"Well, I guess that's that. We should write back." Katie said.

"Good idea."

The next letter was:

Hi again Laura!

First things first, Quidditch is a sport where you hit big stones at people you don't like. We're on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. Care for Magical Creatures is a somewhat interesting class where this half giant guy named Hagrid who lives in a tiny house on the edge of the Forbidden Forest teaches you about magical animals and stuffs like that. Transfiguration is the class taught by a cat woman (Which in my opinion is the only interesting thing about it) where you turn animals into cups. Oh, there are changing staircases all right. I heard that this kid I don't like and his Cronies got lost at the start of the year, and got the Caretaker, Filch, EXTREMELY mad at him. :D The Dungeons are where Professor Snape teaches Points class. Tell us if anything interesting ever does happen at that boring place.

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi! Katie didn't really elaborate on what Quidditch is. So there are four positions: Chaser, Beater, Seeker, Keeper. There are also three types of balls: Quaffle, Bludger, and The Golden Snitch. The Chasers try to throw the Quaffle into the other team's hoops. The keeper defends his own team's hoops. The Beaters (This is our position) use bats to try to hit the Bludgers at the others team's players. The seeker tries to catch the Golden Snitch. When the seeker catches the Snitch, the game ends. Most of the time, that team wins, as their team gets 150 points. If the points you have from catching the Snitch combined with the points you got from getting the Quaffle through the other team's hoops beats the other team's total, you win the game.

Lavender and Katie

"I think we're done. Okay, owl, get over here…." Katie said cautiously. He didn't move. "Owl…." She said, starting to sound a bit less calm. "YOU DUMB OWL, GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!" Surprisingly, he listened. They tied the letter to his leg and set him out the window. "Let's go see if we can figure out who was making Polyjuice Potion in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Oh, and we need something that can record stuff."

"Like what?"

"I dunno! Maybe my voice recorder? Those don't require Wi-Fi! We can use one of those! I mean, I was only intending to use it to record Ozzy Osbourne, but I guess we can make one exception."

"Okay!" So they pulled Katie's voice recorder that for some reason had twenty Ozzy Osbourne albums and twelve _Black Sabbath_ albums and walked to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Their spirits lifted when they heard voices through the door. They turned on the voice recorder and slipped it under the door. They couldn't understand the muffled voices, but they quickly took their voice recorder and ran when they heard from inside of the bathroom: "Let's go!"

They turned a corner and bumped into a red haired girl, who looked at them cautiously and continued in the direction they were coming from. Of course, the went back to their tower to listen to the recording. They were only somewhat shocked to hear Gryffindor Girlfriend's voice. "Myrtle, you didn't even warn her she was about to spill it!"

"I-I know, I'm s-sorry!" Came a weeping Myrtle's voice.

"You better be." Came the voice of Idiot Redhead Friend.

"Yeah, plus now that Goldilocks knows about it, I can't use her hair!" Called Gryffindor Girlfriend.

"They call me Goldilocks." Katie said, grinning at Lavender.

"There was, r-really nothing I cou-could do!"

"But now we've gotta wait two months almost before we can actually-"

"HARRY, STOP!" Shrieked Myrtle.

"I wonder how we didn't hear that?" Lavender asked.

"Why?"

"I think someone's coming!"

"Let's go!" The recorder became silent.

Lavender stared at her sister. "Did we see anyone on the way back? Anyone walking towards the bathroom?" She asked.

"Well, there was that redhead girl. Was she Ginny? You know, Idiot Redhead Friend's sister?"

"No, I didn't recognize her. But she was walking in that direction, and she was only like twenty feet away from the bathroom, so they might have heard her."

"Why would she be going into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?"

"I don't even know the girl, why would you ask me?"

"Dunno." Katie replied. "Did you catch what house she was in?"

"Gryffindor, I think."

"You think?"

"I think."

"But you don't know for sure?"

"Correct."

"Who knows?" They shrugged and left to eat breakfast.


	11. Infinite Owl Post

They got to breakfast just in time for the owls post. Through the massive flutter of birds, they saw MUFFIN and Lord Dunmore both holding some stuffs. On the front of the letter MUFFIN was carrying, big letters read:

Lavender.

Lavender opened it and read it. "Cool." She said when she was finished.

"What's up?"

She showed Katie the letter.

To Lavender:

Hi! You probably don't remember me, but I'm Xenophilius Lovegood, Luna's father. My daughter has told me all about you, including that you and your sister don't know where you're going to stay in between school years. If you have not yet found a place, you are always welcome to stay with us at our place. Luna says she would like that. So please respond as quickly as possible.

-Xenophilius Lovegood

"Okay. I guess that works."

"What did you get?" Lord Dunmore had dropped a large box in front of her.

"Dunno. Let's see….can I have your knife?"

"Yeah." She replied, tossing Katie her knife.

"Thanks." She opened the box. "What the…?"

"What?"

"Who sent it?"

"Um, let's see here, um, Rita Skeeter. Who's Rita Skeeter?"

"Dunno. What does the letter say?"

"It says this!" She said, shoving the letter at her sister's face.

Dear Katie or Lavender Potter,

My name is Rita Skeeter, journalist for the _Daily Prophet._ The story you getting sorted into the house (My apologies if I get this wrong.) Gryffinhuffleslitherclaw has gone absolutely viral lately. As it appears, no other journalist has interviewed you yet, and I would like to be the first. If you find the time, I have a clear schedule this weekend. Thank you

-Rita Skeeter

"Okay then." Lavender said. "I think we should do it!"

"Me too! Now, what are all these?" As they were talking, three more letters arrived for them.

"Dunno. Let's find out." Lavender took her two and Katie took hers. "Okay, I've got some good and bad bad news. The bad news is-Katie?" Katie was weirdly staring at the letter, on her face a look of shock, fear, anger, and confusion. "Katie? What's up?"

"Er, nothing, sorry."

"Katie, I know that look. What is it?"

"Just, look at this."

We all know what you did. We won't let you use that recording against us. So hand it over by tonight or it's a wizarding duel. If you do neither, we'll just have to let it all play out. And spoiler alert, if you choose that, you won't get the ending you're hoping for.

Guess who.

"Wow, he's a freak!" Lavender said fiercely.

"I know! And he's got a sloppy hand, too. What did yours say?"

"Well, one was Laura responding to our letter."

"Ohh! What did she say?"

Dear Katie and Lavender,

Amelia said that you meant Potions class, not Points class. Other than that, Quidditch sounds fun. Care for Magical Creatures seems interesting...ish. From your description, Transfiguration SUCKS. Honestly. What are your guys' favorite classes? Still nothing interesting here. If anything, it's two times as boring as it was since you two left. Really hoping I just missed the cut-off over here.

"Okay. What's the other one?"

"This."

To Katie Potter and Lavender Potter,

The Ministry of Magic has just gotten hold of some breathtaking information: There is a new Hogwarts house!

"They're just getting that news now?"

"Gossip can be slow sometimes."

Many of our journalists are very eager for more news on it. But sadly, we cannot have your story taking over every heading in the _Daily Prophet,_ now can we?

"Why not?" Katie asked.

"Just keep reading!"

As a solution, we have assigned you a journalist (Rita Skeeter) and had her write to you. If you do not receive her mail by Friday, please tell me. Thank you,

Cornelius Fudge

Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic.

"Okay. What's the problem?"

"There isn't one, I just wanted to say we had good and bad news."

"I can think of one."

"What?"

"We just got more mail!" Two owls soared down to them and dropped an envelope in front of each of them.

"Wow, I do not look forward to writing back to all these." Katie said in an annoyed tone, opening her letter. "HE SENT ME _TWO_ LETTERS! JUST LOOK!"

I forgot to mention, Ron and I will be waiting for the recording on the Quidditch Pitch.

"Well, so much for having a normal-WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OWLS?" As it was, another owl dropped a letter in front of Lavender. Lavender opened the new letter, and Katie tried to hide under the table, hoping no more owls would see her. "Hey Kate, check this out."

"What?" Katie said, poking up her head.

"We get half off all cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Convenient Store!"

"Really? That's-wait, why?"

"Every one thousand cheesecakes bought is a lifetime discount!"

"I think I can take the credit for that one."

"Fine."

"Yes. What's the other one?"

"Actually, it's-" She giggled a little, and said: "Fan mail."

" _Fan mail?_ "

"Yeah, we're apparently famous."

"Who's it from?"

"Someone named Natalie Ganondorf."

"Ganondorf. Best last name ever!" Katie put her thumbs up.

"Yeah!" Lavender agreed. "Let's read it!" The letter read:

Dear Lavender and Katie Potter,

My name is Natalie Ganondorf.I am a big fan of yours, and I would love to meet this owl gets to you in good time, I am out on the Quidditch Pitch. And I also heard about the tape. Please bring that as well.

-Hermi Natalie Ganondorf

Lavender finished reading the letter to Katie. "Where did Cuthead tell us to meet him again?" Lavender looked at shoving her face with cheesecake.

"Quidditch pitch. Why?" Said Katie, who had stopped listening half way through. "Next!"

"Well what does it say?"

"This."

Hi Lavender!

My name's Rachel and my sister Jane and I are huge fans of you and Katie and Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw! We're waiting for your interview in the paper with Rita Skeeter and we simply CANNOT wait. When is it? When when when?!

"That's gonna get old after awhile." Katie replied in a bored tone.

"You think?" Lavender replied, sounding just a lazy.

Soooooooooo, please write back!

-Rachel.

P.S. I wrote to Katie, too 😉

"Oh no. She wrote to me?"

"Yep, and here it comes now, and look at that, it's with another owl."

"Yay, what a great surprise." Katie replied sarcastically. The owl dropped a letter in front of Katie. "Yep, they say the same thing except it says I'm better. No, no, just kidding. They're the exact same thing."

"Okay, hopefully no more," she looked up and saw one more owl. "Letters. Ughhhhhhh." It was holding a large box which it dropped in front of Katie.

"Okay, I'm just gonna take this back to the tower."

"Count me in." Lavender replied eagerly, flinging herself up.

So they walked back to the tower, cautiously watching for more owls. When they finally made it to the stairway that led up to the Astronomy Tower, as they were about to go up, they heard a familiar voice. "No, Hermione, I saw it myself, she's a Death Eater!"

"Harry, that's crazy, she'd be the youngest Death Eater to ever live!"

"But I'm positive I saw it, when I went to buy you a pot, she realized I saw it then punched me in the nose!"

"If what you're saying is true, why haven't you told Professor Dumbledore?"

"I told you yesterday."

"Good lord Harry! That's why?"

"Yes!"

"Shh shh shh! Listen! Someone's coming!"

Katie and Lavender looked at each other, shocked, and ran down. And, strangely enough, they saw the red haired girl from the day when they caught the three Gryffindor nitwits brewing Polyjuice Potion in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. This time, they look a little bit closer: Hufflepuff Robes, shocked expression, nothing much else to know. But this time, she turned and went away from the Astronomy Tower. So the Potter twins decided they'd go confront Cuthead and Gryffindor Girlfriend.

So they flung themselves around and walked back up to the way way just came from and saw the two running down the stairs. "So." Katie said, punching a fist into one hand. "What's with all the mad mail?" She fiercely asked, drawing back her right fist, and in her left hand, aiming her wand at his neck.

"No!" Cried Gryffindor Girlfriend. "Please! Don't hurt him!"

"Why? Is he your boyfriend?"

"Er...yes?"

"Ha, that's an older trick, I suppose." She said, pulling the voice recorder out of her back pocket. Cuthead tried to raise his own fist, but Katie put her wand a little bit closer to him and he lowered it.

"Okay, now don't…." She stared at Katie's hovering wrist for a few long seconds, before coming back onto Earth. "Uh, don't hurt him."

Katie sniggered and lowered her fist and wand, then, with a sassy look on her face, allowed them to pass. As soon as they walked by, Katie punched Cuthead in the back. He stumbled a little, but didn't fall, then he and his Girlfriend continued in a run. Katie looked at Lavender with an open grin on her face, and said nothing.

"Katie, that's not funny."

"Come on, yes it is!"

Lavender rolled her eyes and they walked back to the tower. "So, what's in that box?"

"Let's find out." She replied, tearing off the ribbon. "Ooh! What the heck is it?" She said, holding up a large piece of copper.

"I have absolutely no idea." Lavender replied.

"Well, I'll figure it out later." She said, lazily throwing on the foot of her bed. "But for now, we've got other things to worry about." She said, pointing a finger at the two Cuthead letters on the floor.


	12. Quidditch Quarrle

"You know what we should do?" Katie asked, two hours later.

"Huh?"

"We should tell Professor Filch or maybe Peeves that they're gonna be at the Quidditch Pitch tonight. I'd like to see them get that detention."

"I never thought I'd truthfully say this to you, but that's not a bad idea."

Katie smiled. "Who should we tell?"

"Well, I think Filch would be the more responsible choice."

"So Peeves, then?"

"Definitely."

"Let's go." So they ran all over the castle screaming: PEEVES! PEEVES! PEEVES! PEEVES!" Until they found him on the twelfth floor, jamming doors shut. "Hi Peeves!" He immediately threw paint at them, but stopped when they asked, "Wanna help us cause mischief?"

"Of course I do, mischief is literally my name!" He replied.

"Okay, come here." They finally found an empty classroom and told him what was happening.

"Ooh! students out of bed at night!"

"Yeah. And even better who it is, right?"

"Yep." Then he flew away and continued jamming doors.

"Well, that was surprisingly easy. Think we should also tell Mr. Filch?"

"Probably, for the best."

"Okay, go get the recorder and two notes. I'll wait here."

"Merp, fine." Lavender came back five minutes later with the notes and recorder.

"Okay, let's go." So they trotted down to Mr. Filch's office and found him doing nothing with his life and staring off into space.

"Hi Mr. Filch!" Lavender said politely.

"Huh? Oh, hello. It's hard to find a child who hasn't gotten to my bad side yet. Or especially two. What do you want?" He asked grumpily.

"Well, we have some news." Lavender replied.

"Okay, what is it?" He asked, sounding just as grumpy.

"Two students are going to be out of bed tonight. On the Quidditch Pitch."

"Who are these two students?" He asked, sounding a bit less grumpy.

"Harry Potter and Ron Weasley." Lavender replied.

"Wait, you actually know what their names are?" Katie looked at her sister and raised her eyebrows.

"You haven't figured it out yet?"

"Not important!" Filch said, sounding actually somewhat joyful. "How do you know they're gonna be out of bed tonight?"

"This." Lavender said, showing him the letters.

"Aha. And what is this recording he wants?"

"Well," Katie said, slapping her hand over Lavender's mouth. "I was saving it to blackmail him, but I guess we can show you."

"I won't tell anyone, you can still use it against that murderer."

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, he murdered someone?"

"My cat." He replied, his voice dropping down into a sad tone.

"So sorry. But he'll pay for it. Listen to this." She played the recording, including the part where Gryffindor Girlfriend expressed her love for Cuthead.

"Who's this Goldilocks?"

"Me." Katie replied, resisting a laugh. "And don't tell about the potion. I wanna figure out what they're up to."

"I won't. And don't you worry, they'll lose plenty of points, and get a worthy detention." Filch said, grinning. "You may go back to your tower...if you have one." He got up and hobbled away.

"Okay well that's-HOLY MOLEY GUACAMOLE ON A MACARONI AND CHEESE SANDWICH! WE HAVE A QUIDDITCH MATCH IN TWENTY MINUTES!"

"YOU'RE RIGHT!" Today was the game Katie had been hoping would be canceled: Hufflepuff versus Slytherin. They started running down to the Quidditch Pitch, without talking or really doing anything notable at all. It took them five minutes to get there, seven to get there Quidditch stuffs on, and another five to actually have a talk with their team before the game. Three minutes before the game would start, Katie's head started billowing with thoughts: If Hufflepuff won, would Draco be angry with her? Would he still want to be her friend? Katie bowed her head as the team walked onto the Quidditch Pitch.

Draco and the rest of the Slytherins were already on the pitch, waiting for the Hufflepuff team to arrive. Katie raised her head and made eye contact, but almost immediately lowered it and pretended she hadn't. "Come on Kate, it's just a game." Lavender said. "Besides, even if we _do_ win, it'll lift his spirits when you tell him what's gonna happen tonight."

"What's happening tonight?" Zacharias interrupted.

"Shut your face, Zacharias." Katie snapped.

"Sheesh. Just being curious." Madam Quidditch Person blew her whistle and everyone pushed off the ground. "LAVENDER!"

"WHAT?"

"CAN YOU TAKE OUT SLYTHERINS WHILE I JUST DEFEND OUR TEAM!?"

"SURE!" Lavender did well with that, taking out one of Flint's overly large teeth in the first minute. Katie's first move, however, was swinging her bat behind her, preparing to hit an incoming bludger, but ended up hitting Zacharias in the mouth with her bat.

"Yowwwww!" He yelped, clutching his bloody mouth.

"Sorry Zacharias, but you kinda deserved it!"

"KATIE!" Cedric yelled.

"Sorry!" Katie yelled. Then she noticed a bludger coming for his ear. "HEADS UP!" She yelled, too far to get there on time. He ducked just in the nick of time to avoid the bludger. She turned around and saw that half of the slytherins were lying on the ground below them.

"LAVENDER!" Katie yelled as Lavender started looking for nearby bludgers.

"WHAT?!"

"GOOD JOB!" Lavender turned around went so high Katie lost sight of her. She was chasing a bludger so she assumed Cedric had gone up there or something. Flint, Draco, and two others were still in the game. Katie noticed the one of the Slytherin Beaters had taken out Zacharias. She then decided she would be useful. She started zooming around, scanning the pitch for the bludgers. She noticed two things: (One) Flint was hit in the head with a bludger from Lavender, which didn't knock him off his broomstick, but had almost the same results as a confundus charm. (Two) A dark cloud had rolled over the Quidditch Pitch, and it was beginning to rain. _Great._ Katie thought. _All I've been able to do this entire game is bash Zacharias in the mouth, and now it's raining! Could this be any worse?_

And almost immediately after, she saw a body fall from the sky. She couldn't see it very clearly because of the rain, but the person was definitely wearing Hufflepuff gear. _Okay, as I should have known from past experience, don't ask yourself if it could get worse, because then it's gonna get worse!_ Then, it went from raining not that hard to pouring rain. _Okay, at least it can't get much worse from here._ That was most definitely a lie. It started hailing, then hail and lightning and thunder, then somehow the wind picked up another eighty or so miles per hour, and the terror seemed endless. No one even heard Madam Hooch blow her whistle to cut the game short and rematch another time.

No one noticed the crowd leave, and the remaining players were unable to even land due to extremely high upward winds. _Okay, this time I'm absolutely sure nothing could get worse!_ Another huge lie. The upward winds picked up and she was uncontrollably flying upward. She started screaming, and was unable to stop, as things were spinning out of control with bad. But before she even knew what was happening, there was an extremely bright light, and then everything was black. She hadn't lost consciousness, but everything was a blur. She then realized she was no longer on her broom. She was free falling from hundreds of feet up! As soon as this became clear to her, she screamed louder than she ever had before and flailed around uncontrollably, trying to grab onto something, _anything,_ no matter what it was.

That was when she lost consciousness. She woke in the hospital wing. In the bed next to her, Lavender was reading _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_ for the hundredth time, waiting for her sister to wake up. "Dude, what the hell happened?" Katie asked, trying to keep her voice from collapsing.

"What? Oh, you finally woke up."

"How long was I out?"

"Just twenty minutes or so."

"Well, that's reassuring. So what happened?"

"Okay, so I only fell from forty or so feet-"

"Forty! That's _really_ a high height to fall from!"

"Nothing compared to what you fell from. Besides, I was blocked by the Aresto Momentum spell."

"What, I wasn't?"

"Nope. So what happened was we were trying to call you back down, but you'd never hear us. I wanted to go back out, but I apparently 'fell from too high to go back out,' so I'm like you suck Madam Quidditch Woman, because she won't let me go back out. But Draco didn't fall, so I kinda' just shoved him onto the field to see what would happen. I don't think he appreciated that very much, but he really didn't have that many options at this point." Her eyes went back down to her book.

"That's it?"

"No. He decided he didn't want to get hurt, because he didn't wanna mess up his hair or something, so you just kinda got stuck by lighting and died."

"Oh, well that was nice of him."

"Yeah, so twenty crazy minutes later, here we are."

"Still, how did I get stuck by lighting? I was only in the sky on my broom which has metal on it during a thunderstorm! I mean, I was just in a thunder cloud with metal! How did this happen?!"

"Katie, let's just go."

"Okay."


	13. Responding to the Infinite Owl Post

So they started to go up to Dumbledore's office on their very important mission to go bother Dumbledore. They marched up the twisty stairway to his office, and burst through the door yelling: "DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE!"

"WHAT?!"

"Hi."

"Uhh." Dumbledore sighed. "You two are lucky you haven't been expelled for doing that!"

"Wholly striped curtains! We just wanted to say hi to our headmaster."

"Well, that's very nice girls…."

"And give you a special pot discount!"

"Yes, yes-what?"

"Yeah, and we also had an urge to go scream in the halls in the middle of the night!"

"SNAPE!" Dumbledore screamed.

"Hypocrite." Katie mumbled under her breath. Snape appeared from a dark corner.

"Headmaster, you do realize I was sleeping."

"In a dark corner? Eh, I'm not one to judge. I'm planning on telling Harry Potter things he should have been told last year when he's sixteen." Dumbledore looked off into space for five minutes until Katie and Lavender threw glasses of water at him.

"LEMON DROPS! Uh, what? Oh, uh, Snape, take care of these girls while I go rethink life decisions." He left, his soaked robes sagging on the floor leaving a trail of water behind him.

"Uhh, okay, that was weird." Katie said. "Snape, can I sit at Dumbledore's desk?"

"Actually I don't think-"

"Thanks!" She said, gleefully leaping into Dumbledore's chair.

"Well, I guess that's that, then." Snape said in a voice saying he really didn't care. "Anything interesting happening lately?" He asked.

"Um, Lavender, anything interesting happening lately?" Katie asked.

"Well, we, uhh...nope I'm blank."

"Wow, we have to do something interesting with our lives."

"Like bother Dumbledore?"

"Yeah!"

"Girls, I don't think-"

"Wanna come, Snape?"

"Uhh, girls, I think-"

"So, no?"

"So no."

"Okay, bye bye."

As they were looking for Dumbledore, Katie asked, "Do you think Cuthead and his Girlfriend and Idiot Redhead friend are on the Quidditch Pitch?"

"After this storm? I guess, maybe."

"Think we should tell Dumbledore about all the stuff he's been doing?"

"He'd definitely tell about the potion."

"True." Katie replied. But then a grin spread across her face.

"Uh-oh. What now?"

"They might not be on the pitch, but you know where they definitely aren't? Myrtle's bathroom."

"Oh, I see where you're going with this!"

"Come on!" They sprinted to the bathroom where the potion was. "Why are they still brewing it in here? I mean, it's pretty clear that multiple people know about it!"

"I dunno."

Katie reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill. Then she jogged down: The three Gryffindor nitwits' Polyjuice Potion needs: fluxweed, knotgrass, lacewing flies, leeches. They need these from Snape's office.

"And, done. Let's go respond to this morning's owl post."

"Okay."

So they trotted back up to the tower to respond to the mountain of mail in the middle of the room. "I think we should respond to Rita Skeeter first, just to know when the interview is."

"Okay, you respond to Skeeter, I'll write to Fudge saying we got the interview worked out."

"Okay."

Katie's letter said:

Dear Rita Skeeter,

We are very grateful that you'd take the time to interview us. Since tomorrow is Sunday, our schedule is wide open. We are thinking that 1:00 PM is good. Meet us at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

Sincerely, Katie and Lavender.

Lavender's read:

We were able to find a time for our interview with Rita Skeeter. It'll be at

"Katie, what time?"

"One o'clock Sunday."

1:00 Sunday afternoon,

Sincerely, Katie & Lavender

"Lord Dunmore! Get over here!" Katie shrieked. Nothing happened. "Owl!" She called. Nothing happened. Finally, she inhaled and let out the loudest whistle in the history of the universe. The owl screeched and unstably flew around the room then out the window without the letter.

"Huh. That's new."

"Mmm."

"I'm gonna go down to the owlery and send this. I'll be right back." Katie said looking confused.

"Yep." Lavender plopped on her bed. While waiting for Katie to come back, she picked up parchment and a quill and wrote:

Dear Mr. Lovegood,

This is Lavender Potter, Luna's friend, responding to your letter from this morning's owl post. Katie and I have decided we would love to stay with you until we find a place to live between school. Thank you,

-Lavender

"Head's up!" Katie yelled, jumping down the three-hundred-foot drop. She landed on her bed and bounced off onto her feet. "So, Lord Dunmore and MUFFIN are out, how're we gonna reply to the rest, spare owls?"

"Yes, spare owls."

"Wanna reply to Laura?"

"Sure."

Dear Laura,

So there's this kid at Hogwarts who's apparently REALLY famous, but I hate him and, get this, his last name's Potter! Harry Potter, I think is his real name, but he's got this STUPID cut on his forehead that drives me crazy, so I just call him Cuthead. I think he's famous because he defeated some no-nose guy in the Daily Prophet (Wizarding Newspaper) when he was a baby or something I DON'T REALLY KNOW but anyway I got struck by lightning this morning! So I think I might stop playing Quidditch next year, but haven't really decided yet. If anything interesting ever happens in that stupid old orphanage, be sure to tell us.

Hiya Laura!

Katie got struck by lightning. I'm just gonna think that's normal and go on with life. CATFISH! Anyway, a dude named Stevery wanted to shovel my driveway. I live in a small space. I don't have a driveway. But again I'll just move on and continue with life.

-Lavender and Katie

"Okey donkey, I mean, dokey, I mean, let's just send this!" Katie struggled to say. "Bleh, I can't even talk anymore!" She replied to herself.

"Okay I'll take these up to the owlery, be right back." Lavender said.

"Okay, I'll stay here and," she lowered her voice to sound like Dumbledore's. "'Rethink life decisions.'"

"Ha. Okay bye bye."

"See ya."

Five minutes later, Lavender came back. "So Katie, what do you think that chunk of copper is?" She asked, pointing to the piece of metal on her sister's bed.

"Erm, I dunno, maybe...nope, I'm blank."

"Well, it's not like we have to figure it out now. So let's respond to that Rachel girl with the fan mail."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, do we _have_ to?" Katie moaned.

"Umm, I guess not, but-"

"Good, because there's absolutely no way I'm responding to that!"

"Well I guess-"

"It's copper! RANDOM COPPER!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Let's think about this," Katie said. "I didn't check in the box, maybe there's a note with it."

There was a silence.

"Well...go check it then."

"Yeah, okay." Katie walked over to her bed and pulled the torn-open box from beneath it. "Here it is. Let's see here...nope."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing. The box is completely empty and-"

"What?"

"Lavender?"

"Yeah?"

"The ribbon has runes on it."

"Like from the balloon place? Dude, they are WEIRD!"

"Yeah they are!"

"Woo! So what do the runes actually say?"

"Err, I don't take ancient runes, but I think it says monkeys are the most dramatic bananas in existence."

"I KNEW IT!"

" Yes, yes, very good." Snape randomly appeared from the corner.

"HOLY MOLY GUACAMOLE ON A MACARONI AND CHEESE SANDWICH! IT'S SNAPE!"

"HOW DID YOU FIND OUR TOWER?!"

"I just did. I wanted to tell you what the piece of copper is."

"We already know, it tells us that monkeys are the most dramatic bananas in existence."

"No, that's what the ribbon says. The ribbon has nothing to do with the copper."

"Then why the cheesecake does it say that on the ribbon?!"

"Because, the person who sent it lives in a place where runes are used and there are also multiple monkeys around there."

"Who sent it?"

"Huh, oh, gotta go, bye!" Snape said, vanishing into a dark corner.

"What? Wait-dangit."

"Well, that was boring."

"Wanna go annoy Dumbledore?"

"YE-Oh wait, we already did that today!" Katie said whining.

"God, there's nothing to do at twelve o'clock Thursday night!"

"You know, there is one thing we could do."

"What?"

"We-"

"Oh, my God! Your not gonna tell me?"

"Like I-"

"How could you? We're best friends! We are _sisters_!"

"Pull it together woman!" Katie said shaking Lavender.

"Okay, okay! What is it anyway?"

"Well, there is one person left to annoy. _Cuthead."_

"Katie!" Lavender said disapprovingly, "Okay."

"Really?"

"It would surprise you, the things I agree to when I'm bored."

And they went through the halls, fingers crossed they would not get detention. But what they really saw made Katie's face light up: Filch was dragging Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend by the ears to Dumbledore's office.

"I guess that confirms our theory that they were actually stupid enough to go out there after the storm." Katie whispered, beaming and dragging Lavender into a nearby spare room, leaving the door cracked open.

"Yes, I guess you were right...they are gullible enough to think we'd actually join them for a duel."

"You know, sometimes I really find it hard to believe they're a whole year ahead of us. I've even heard that last year, Draco challenged them to a duel at freaking midnight, and he accepted. HE ACTUALLY ACCEPTED!"

"MR. FILCH!" Lavender called. Katie slapped her hand against her sister's mouth.

"Shut up or we'll be joining them in the fiery gates of detention!" She croaked/whispered. But it was too late.

"Who's there?" Mr. Filch called.

"No point in trying to hide now, Kate. Let's just reveal ourselves until we get into even more trouble." Lavender whispered, stepping out of the hiding place. Katie silently followed.

"Um, Mr. Filch-"

"WHO'S THAT-oh, it's you." Filch grunted. "Well, found these two out on the pitch."

Katie grinned at Cuthead and mouthed, 'gullible.' He made a face that looked so angry Katie thought he might actually try to escape Filch's grip, but he didn't.

"So, are you taking them to cat lady?" Katie asked politely.

"Yes. And you to better run along now. Getting late."

"Merp, fine." Katie said, and they walked back to the tower.


	14. The Snake Thingy

Friday happened with nothing interesting at all. Just another day of boring classes...and a points class, where they gained eighty-two points. By Friday night, the weekend had officially and unofficially begun. Lavender decided to head down to the Cheesecake Convenient Store, fully aware that she wasn't allowed in Hogsmeade yet. On the way down, she bumped into Luna.

"Luna, where are you going?"

"Oh, I was just heading down to the Pudding Convenient Store. I'll assume you're headed for cheesecake?"

"No duh I'm headed for cheesecake!"

"Well, I guess I'll see you there. Happy weekend!"

"Happy weekend!"

So Lavender continued to the Cheesecake Convenient Store and bought twelve cheesecakes, and ate two on the way back to Hogwarts. The rest she brought back to the tower for Katie, who ate them all in four seconds.

"Well, that's that I guess. So, Kate, it's the weekend!" Lavender exclaimed.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, that's nice." Katie replied from her bed. She was extremely tired, and her gold locks were a tangly mess on her head.

"Come on, Katie, weekend!" Lavender exclaimed again, slightly impatient.

"Just come back and get me later, Lavender." Katie replied.

"Fine. See you in an hour."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

…

"Hey you! Weird one!" Draco Malfoy was running down the corridor chasing Lavender.

"Um, hi Daco, are, you okay?"

"Where's your sister?" He replied anxiously.

"She's sleeping in, why?"

"Well, um, just, tell her to meet me at the entrance to Slytherin tower."

"Okay, but she'll probably just ignore it."

"Whatever, just, hurry up." He said, continuing down the corridor.

"Well, that was weird." Lavender mumbled, turning around and heading back to the tower.

When she landed on the mattress at the bottom of the three-hundred-yard drop, she didn't even look up before she was talking. "Hey Kate, Draco said he was-Kate? Katie! Are you even listening to me?"

"Can't, I, well, I gotta meet Draco, nevermind, I, I gotta leave." She said, shoving her sister out of the way and running as fast as she could.

"KATIE! WHERE ARE YOU-"

"Sorry, Lavender, I'll be right back!"

"Oh, come ON!" Lavender threw her arms in the air and flopped on her bed and passed out. Meanwhile, Katie had run to Slytherin Tower to meet Draco.

"Hi Draco. This better be important because I was sleeping."

"Well, it may not be overall important, but you'll like it." He replied, grinning.

"Hey, I know that face. What happened?"

"Cheap Potter over in Gryffindor got detention with the Weasel. Believe me, it's hilarious."

"What teacher?" Katie asked excitedly.

He grinned again. "Filch."

Katie smiled, laughed, fainted, got up, got reminded of the situation, laughed hysterically, fainted again, got up, had the situation explained again, and finally walked down the corridor, still laughing hysterically.

"So, where's their detention?" Katie asked.

"Dungeons. And Goyle told me it was hilarious. But didn't bother to tell me what it was." His nostrils flared.

"Well, what are we waiting around for?"

"We originally stopped walking because you asked me where they were having detention, then I said…." Draco realized Katie was just staring at him blankly, then just said, "Or we can just go, come on!" he continued down the stairs. When they (FINALLY) got to the dungeons, they saw Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend walking in circles while filling out the same piece of paper and repeatedly saying, "I am a unicorn." Katie fell to the ground, choking on her own laughter, and eventually having Draco drag her to the Great Hall, knowing that if she shoved her face with food she might shut up. He tried to get her to the Slytherin table, but gave up when she spotted a cheesecake on the Hufflepuff table. "Goodbye, Katie, have a good weekend." He said, walking away.

"Later." She walked to the cheesecake and Lavender was already there talking to Cedric.

"Hey Cedric, how's life, that's good, I'm gonna eat cheesecake now, so see ya!" Then she buried her face into the cheesecake.

"Yep." He replied. "I haven't given you your quidditch newsletter yet. Here you go."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I'm pretty uptight. Hey man." He said to some random stranger. While Katie and Lavender scanned through the paper.

"Hey, is this true? The Slytherin seeker is Draco?"

"Yeah, and he's got the entire team Nimbus 2001's! I can't believe they let him in just for that."

Lavender looked at Katie while she fainted into an entire cheesecake.

"Well, I guess that's that then," Lavender mumbled. "Hey Cedric?" She said.

"Yeah?" He replied, turning around.

"Do you know why the cheesecake is always on the Hufflepuff table?"

"Uhhh…."

"So, no, then?"

"Uh, yeah, no."

"Oh, okay, that's fine."

"Yeah…."

"Hold the dramatically oversized curtain, is this true? We have to read _Quidditch Through the Ages_ for homework?"

"What!" Katie protested.

"That says optional. You don't have to do it."

"Oh thank CHEESECAKE! I was about to have a heart attack! Even though, you know, the only real reason I could have a heart attack is all this cheesecake, and cheesecake does nothing to me except sugar crashes, and…." Katie continued on for five VERY BORING minutes. When she was done, they went hiking on back up to the Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower to make curtains as a new occupation after running out of clay to make pots.

"Uhh, Lavender, I'm gonna go do something else now, bye bye!"

"Yeah, later."

Fifteen seconds after Katie left, Lavender heard, "Heads up!" And Katie came plummeting down onto the mattress.

"Lavender, two more kids got petrified!"

(For all you critics out there, I'm very well aware I'm getting the order of events in this story 100% wrong, just don't question it -Teressa Starr)

"What?! Who?"

"Gryffindor girlfriend and some Ravenclaw named Penelope Clearwater! And holy moly guacamole on a macaroni and cheese sandwich, is it chaos out there."

"Wanna go investigate?"

"Well, that _did_ go very well the first time…Eh, who cares let's go get in trouble!"

"Yeah!"

So, of course, they went to go investigate the petrified bodies in the hospital.

"Hey, Lav, how do they eat?"

"Katie, why are you asking _me_ that question?"

"Eh, good point. So, I just got a theory."

"Well, are you gonna tell me what this or what?"

"Sure. I think that strange voice that only we can hear…and Cuthead too, I guess, is behind these attacks."

"Katie, I think other people are already _way_ ahead of us with this case."

"Lavender, you're probably right. We should go listen for the strange voice again."

"Oh all right."

So, as they were walking through the halls, and intensely questioning everyone they walked by (boy, some people were _not_ happy), they eventually ran into Cuthead and I don't think you can guess what happened next: Katie screamed at him! I know, right, CRAZY! But anyway, he was super sad about his girlfriend's petrifiedness. So, instead of fighting back, he just screamed, "leave me alone for once!" And stormed off.

"That was unusual." Katie said as GILDEROY LOCKHART showed up screaming,

"WHERE IS THE DANGER? I CAN DESTROY IT!"

"Calm down! It's nothing important, just go back to doing whatever it is you do!" Katie and Lavender both said at the same time.

"Jinx." Lavender whispered.

"I'm door girls, I just wanted to.. stop any trouble, that's all. I could easily defeat any monster in the world so…." GILDEROY LOCKHART continued to brag for the next hour, apparently not realizing both girls had walked away.

It was pretty quiet until they heard…

 _Rip, Tear, Kill! I'm hungry for-_

"LAVENDER WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Katie, let the creepy voice finish!"

"Oh, sorry."

(Awkward silence)

"Great, you scared it."

"Of COURSE I scared it, Lavender, of course _I_ scared the creepy voice talking about killing people."

"Okay, okay, I get it. Does this mean we have to keep looking for it?"

"Of COURSE we have to keep looking for it."

"Ok, follow me."


	15. A Wacky Weekend

"Do you know where we're going, Lavender?"

"Not a clue. I thought, if we follow the trail of random puddles, that could lead us to something."

"So, we're running around a giant castle that we don't know our way around, and could easily get lost in? I'm down with that."

"Understandable. Do you hear that?" A very high pitched voice was now just SCREAMING about people throwing books and things.

"Yes, and that's saying something considering that my hearing hasn't been that good since the Alpaca incident. That wasn't pretty."

"How have I not heard about this?"

"Well this was when I was visiting Alaska in Alaska, so who could expect an Alpaca in Alaska…?" Lavender made a nervous laugh. "Yeah, okay, I did. And I'm still very mad at myself that I wasn't completely prepared!"

They just stared at each other for a while.

"Anyway…" They turned around and started again.

The puddles led to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, where Cuthead and Idiot Redhead friend were running out and arguing. So they snuck into the bathroom and, like any sane people, started screaming at the sink to open up.

The strange thing was… it listened.

The sinks spread apart and dramatic music started playing in the background.

"Lavender, when did a see-through person get here?"

"Katie, _why_ would I know the answer to that question?"

"I'm Myrtle. Though some of the kids like to resemble buffoons and call me _Moaning_ Myrtle."

"Yeah, because I can't see _any_ reason for them to do that." Katie whispered to her sister. "Myrtle, we've already met, we spilled the polyjuice, although I see they're brewing a new one."

"Y-you! You both have n-no right to be in here!"

"Okay, Lavender, through this big hole in the ground."

"Okay!"

So they both jumped in and slid down a gross slimy slidy thing that led into a room littered with bones.

"Hey, Lavender?" Katie said slowly, sounding slightly nervous.

"Yeah?" Lavender replied with the same tone in her voice.

"I'm hungry."

"So am I! Let's go get something to eat!"

So they crawled out a giant hole in the ground outside because in the second Harry Potter movie they fly out of a giant hole in the ground that for some reason no one else at the school has ever noticed before, but whatever... Then they went back into the school and stole some burgers and cheesecake from the kitchens, and the cheesecake was obviously being digested by the time they were three feet away. So they then went back to Gryfinslitherhuffleclaw Tower to make pots and fall asleep, but it wasn't long before they heard someone on the Astronomy tower above them. It was a voice they recognized, but it wasn't Cuthead. Or Draco. It was Luna.

"Lavender, what's Luna saying?"

"I dunno, wanna find out?"

"Sure, shut up."

"Okay."

From above them, they heard Luna saying, "I know they can't see you, but if they could they'd think you were strange. Pudding. Right? Pudding."

"Does she say 'pudding' at the end of every sentence?" Katie asked her sister.

"Yep, she's a little…."

"Insane?"

"I was gonna say awesome, but yeah, I suppose." Lavender said, shrugging. "Wanna go talk to her?"

"Well, she can't know the location of our tower."

"Oh, you're right. I guess we'll talk to her later. Let's keep listening for now."

"Okay, shut up."

"They don't know how amazing you really are. I do. Pudding." Luna said in her naturally dreamy voice.

"Is she talking to a person?" Katie asked.

"Kate, stop asking me questions with no answers...that I know!" Lavender snapped, but in a friendly way.

Just then, and owl through through their window and landed on their bed with a letter in its beak. "Hmm...investigate?"

"Duh."

So Lavender picked it up and read it.

"It's a letter from Laura."

"Ooh, what's it say?"

"Read it for yourself."

Dear Katie and Lavender,

Hey guys. A new kid just showed up here. His name is Doug. He's just arrived from Florida, that place in the United States. He's always talking about some big theme park there (I'm not sure when Harry Potter is supposed to be, but they seem to be frozen in the 80's, but whatever.) called Disney World. He's also VERY loud and VERY cute. SO….that's not the point. I was wondering when your school gets out so you can come back here and we can talk ALL about this awesome magic school. Since Amelia is too busy being an adult to even care to tell me, I need you two. Well, try to get back to me ASAP!

-Laura

"Well, I guess that's that." Katie said shrugging.

"Yeah, I guess so. So anyway what's up with Luna?"

"You think I learned the answer now between the one minute when I asked you?"

"Huh. I never really thought about that."

From above, Luna was saying, "Well, I guess I can go see the Quidditch match. I'll see you tomorrow, though."

"Quidditch?"

"I'll check."

Lavender picked up a notepad and started flipping through the pages.

"Uh, looks like Slytherin V.S. Ravenclaw."

"You think we care enough to watch?"

"Yeah, whatever, just don't scream swear words every time Ravenclaw scores this time. Some people looked very uncomfortable last time."

"Oh, please, those people deserved to be uncomfortable."

"Oh, Katie."

When they got to the Quidditch Pitch and found decent seats, Lavender suggested that they find Luna and ask her about the whole...overheard conversation.

"Okay Kate, just stay here this time, okay?"

"Merp. I think I stayed here last time, that's when I screamed the...thing, last time."

"Oh, yeah, right...stay here." Lavender whipped her hair and walked away proudly.

Luna was standing behind the Ravenclaw stand and reading _The Quibbler_ upside down. (IDK I spelled that right). "Hey!"

"Yes, Lavender?" She gave a quick glance at her then put her head back down.

How would she ask her about her one-sided conversation without letting her know she had been eavesdropping on her?

"So, I like to talk to myself but sound like I'm talking with someone else. How 'bout you?"

"Hm? Oh, that's interesting. I rarely do that. Sometimes, though, I talk to animals?"

"Like...what, specifically?"

"The ones I can relate to."

"Okay, which are…."

"Thestrals, most of the time." Luna said dreamily, then looked back down to her upside down magazine.

"Uhh, wait, Luna, when, uhh, was the last time you talked to a, uhh, Thestral? And where?"

"Oh, just a few minutes ago. In the astronomy tower. Why do you ask?"

"Uhh, I'm...curious." Then she turned and bolted back to Katie. "Okay, what's a Thestral?"

"I have absolutely no idea." Lavender admitted.

"Darn. Well, I guess we're just gonna' leave that one hanging there for the rest of our lives, then. C'mon, game's startin'."

The game started with three goals scored by Slytherin in the first minute. "Pshh, Slytherin's _got_ this, I'm not even gonna watch." Then she pulled out her recorder and started singing along to her recording of _Over the Mountain._ In five minutes, Slytherin had a lead of seventy to ten. Katie occasionally glanced at the score, but she was much more focus on the Prince of Darkness singing _Mr. Crowley._ She started air drumming, and slowly people backed off, but eventually only six people remained in the stand. That "eventually" was a minute and a half later. She drastically increased the volume when _War Pigs_ came on, and started screaming the lyrics so loud that aliens on the outer edge of the universe could have heard her. Before the song was over, Professor McGonagall was asking for her recorder. Of course, though, like she was in a live murder scene, she screamed, so loudly that those aliens were completely deaf now, "AHHH! SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL OZZY! AHHH!"

McGonagall covered her ears and stumbled away, probably mentally noting not to ever again interfere with Katie while she was listening to Ozzy Osbourne, a lesson Lavender had learned the hard way eight years ago. Katie grunted and turned up her music again.

"Whoa! What's that!" The announcer's voice boomed through the field. "Is that-it is! The snitch!"

"Hey! Quiet down, _Children of the Grave_ just came on!" Katie uselessly screamed to the announcer. "It's one of my _favorite_ songs!" The announcer continued to yell about the Snitch. "Uh, why do I even bother? Rude." She asked, turning up her music again.

"Why, that's not distracting at all." Said Lavender after she had gotten back from a quick trip back to the tower because she needed to get headphones which she had saved for this particular scenario.

"WHAT?"

"A little louder, Katie. Ruin my eardrum even more." Said Lavender who had unfortunately taken the headphones off just in time for Katie to scream in her ear.

""I'M SORRY! THERE'S THIS RINGING IN MY EAR THAT WON'T GO AWAY SO, WE'RE JUST GONNA ROLL WITH IT!" Lavender had, at this point, left to go to the hospital wing and Katie just kept screaming along to her immediate-ear-shattering device.


	16. Almost Expelled (Yay)

Katie and Lavender started their day as normal; eating five cheesecakes (each), making some pots, and practicing Quidditch. Oh, and sadly, Katie wanted to kill Cuthead (and Idiot Redhead Friend). You can probably guess what happened next.

"Hiya!" Lavender screamed after Katie dragged her over to Gryffindor table. "We'll be leaving now." She tried a swift turn around Katie but she just dragged her right back.

"Ahem, I do _not_ think you should, uhh, have ugly hair!" Katie screamed, unable to think of anything else. Seeing as she was epically failing to trash talk, she didn't fight when Lavender pulled her away. Until she heard Cuthead say,

"Can you believe her? She thinks she's so tough, listening to that Osbourne freak scream at her through a voice recorder with the volume so loud. She's insane."

Then Katie spun on her heel. " _WHAT_ did you just call Ozzy?!"

Cuthead tried to contain a laugh.

"Oh, you think it's _funny,_ do you? Well, I hope you like the taste of my knuckles!" She screamed, running at him and driving her fist into his mouth. "How _dare_ you talk about Ozzy that way! He is a _thousand_ times greater than _you'll_ ever be, and he doesn't even have a retarded cut on his face!"

That last part looked like it hurt Cuthead a lot. He looked not angry, but shocked, and drew his wand.

"Oh, you wanna play _that_ way? Fine, let's play that way. LAVENDER, HE PULLED HIS WAND ON ME!"

" _What?"_ Lavender screamed, joining Katie to punch Cuthead in the nose.

"Expelliarmus!" Cuthead cried, as a jet of red light burst from the tip of his wand.

"Protego!" Katie screamed, looking slightly more offended. By now, teachers were just starting to show up, because they always show up just a little bit after the damage was done.

"Potter, Potter, and Potter!" Screamed Filch, who, naturally, was the first one to show up. "What is all this chaos? Stop it this instant!"

"He asked for it! He _INSULTED_ OZZY!"

"This is still unaccep-"

At the perfect time, Snape showed up. "Aragus, I think that miss Potter has a wonderful explanation for this. I mean, the kid _insulted Ozzy Osbourne._ After Minerva's incident regarding that at yesterday's Quidditch match, he should have very well known that he had that coming for him."

Just then, freaking _Dumbledore_ chose that exact moment to show up. Just as Katie was about to give Cuthead a victorious smirk.

"Yes, hippie?" Katie turned to face him.

"I beli-"

"Self defense!" Lavender cut Dumbledore off.

"Excuse me?"

"What I _mean_ is, aren't we aloud to fight if it's for self defense?"

"But what were you defending yourself agins-"

"HE _INSULTED_ OZZY! WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT!" Katie cut in.

"Yes! Did you _not_ hear!" Snape said with _almost_ emotion.

"But I don't believe it is considered an attack to-"

"He drew his wand on me!" Katie said, even though that was the thing that angered her the _least_ about the entire conversation. But it made Dumbledore go silent, and that was...good.

"Alright." He said eventually. "You all have one more chance. If this happens again, you'll all get worse than just detention." Dumbledore said, satisfied.

"Wait, you're giving us detention?! That seems _really_ unfai-"

"I could make you all have detention together." Dumbledore said. That made Katie shut up.

"Alright sir." She said.

So they went to their detention with the Cuthead-loving half-giant Hagrid. They were in for a long while of sharpening unicorn horns. Well, was that interesting! Hagrid said they didn't like their horns dull because then they couldn't attack prey, and they wouldn't let him near them because he was a dude. "All the more evidence girls are better." Katie grumbled beneath her breath.

So, they both got rocks and went to find the unicorns. When they did, there were several times when they almost got impaled. But at least they got better than Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend, who supposedly got five times the homework in every class. "Yeesh. That sounds harsh even for them...no, nevermind, they totally deserved it." Katie said. "But really, if we can't fight with them anymore," she gulped. "That means we'll have to-we'll have to-"

"We'll have to what?"

"Get...along!"


	17. Harry Potter? Oh (Sigh), Cuthead

So, being the good students they weren't, Katie and Lavender went to find Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend, and not to beat their brains out. "So, uh, hey, Cuthead, I uh, guess I have to apologize for all those times I beat you up. So...sorry!" Katie told him ecstatically. "And I guess I feel a little bad that your girlfriend got petrified, and that everyone for some reason thinks you did it after the dueling club, because apparently we both missed something there." Katie pointed to herself and Lavender. "I'm also sorry for beating you at Quidditch and making fun of BILIUS over there all the time. And that I ate all that cheesecake when you abducted me, and that I ate all that cheesecake in general, and, uh, CHEESECAKE!"

After he heard this, he just stood there for a while with his mouth open, until eventually he just said, "Alright. I guess I'm sorry too, then. But, please just don't call us Cuthead and BILIUS anymore."

"Oh, don't worry, I call him Idiot Redhead Friend usually, not BILIUS." Katie assured him.

"Okay then!" Cuthead said. "So, you know you'll have to say all that again when Hermione's back, right?"

"Never." Katie replied evilly. "Just because we aren't fighting, doesn't mean we're friends. We aren't even close. You can tell her if you want her to know. Besides, I didn't even get in trouble with her, just you two, so I'm not apologizing to any more people then I have to." Katie said sassily.

"Sheesh, alright then!" Idiot Redhea-I mean, _RON_ said. Katie then walked away because, well she saw cheesecake, and came back five minutes later covered in frosting and strawberry sauce. With her mouth full, she said, "Alo' if ya wan' me ta apol'gize teh ya friend once she's done bein' petrified, you gotta' apologize ta Draco as well." She swallowed. "My god, I sound like the guys who works at the Walmart near the orphanage, right?"

"Oh wow, you do!" Lavender screamed.

"No." Cuthead said, crossing his arms and sucking the humor out of the situation. "I'm definitely _not_ apologizing to _Malfoy._ "

"First of all, his name isn't _Malfoy._ It's Draco. Malfoy is his last name. Get it right. Also, if you aren't gonna apologize to him, then apologize to Ozzy."

"What?"

"You heard me! Apologize to OZZY!" Katie snapped.

"Okay okay! I'm sorry, Ozzy!"

"Better. Though I'm not sure he forgives you."

"I think I can live with that." He nodded.

"Okay then." She turned to walk away.

"Wait, your friend apologized, we apologized, I think it's your turn." Said Idiot Redhead Friend (I'm not gonna bother to change it) to Lavender.

"I didn't do anything!"

"You yelled at us! And let her hurt us!"

"Okay, one: I cannot be held responsible for Katie's actions, Two: I don't have a second thing. I guess I'm just gonna yell at who I want, when I want."

" _Great_."

"Okay, so we're cool then? Because even if we aren't then I guess I'll see you later."

Lavender dramatically whipped her hair and walked away.

"Those little-"

"We're not fighting, remember?" Katie cut him off. "Have a nice life, see you in Helheim!" Katie yelled as she caught up with her sister, who was singing the _Cheesecake National Anthem_.

…

When they got to the tower, Lavender started making pots (surprise, surprise), and Katie ate the leftover cheesecake. Eventually they got bored. "This cheesecake needs more cheesecake to go with it." Katie complained. She eventually took out her cell phone just so she could complain about the Wi-Fi. "Now my phone just won't turn on at all. Hogwarts killed it." She rolled her eyes. "Stupid magic."

"Indeed, Katie, indeed." Lavender replied, then went back to making her pots.

Katie sighed. "You think we're gonna actually have to be _friends_ with Cuthead and Idiot Redhead Friend? And Gryffindor Girlfriend?"

"Katie, really, I don't know, but if so, then we'll have to learn their real names."

"Oh no. They're uhh...Barry Potter, John Weasley, and, uhh...something Granger, uhh…"

"Hermione. And also, it's Harry and Ron, not Barry and John."

"Well, sorry for not knowing the names of people I hate!"

"Ah ah ah, you don't _hate_ them, remember?"

Katie grunted. " _Fine_."


	18. The Echoes in the Walls

Katie and Lavender were both sleeping. Well, Katie was, but she was also snoring and keeping Lavender awake. As she stared at the 300-yard-tall ceiling, wondering how Katie's snoring hadn't led anyone to find their tower yet, she noticed something else. Yelling, followed by crashing.

Lavender shook Katie awake. "Kate! Kate, wake up!"

Katie groaned. "But why? I was dreaming I got front seats to Black Sabbath! This _better_ be good!"

"Listen, did you just hear a crash?"

A third crash came. "Yeah. What was that?"

Through the halls, there then echoed, "Ron! Are you alright?!"

"That sounded like Cuthead." Katie said, slightly grinning. "I wonder if he'll...nevermind"

"Katie…."

"Oh, I'm sure he's immortal, just keep listening!"

"Sheesh, alright then!"

Another sound came, in a hissing voice. " _Open up._ "

Katie grinned at her sister, and whisper-laughed, "What?"

"Shh!"

From the distance, they then heard a conversation between Cuthead and another voice.

"You're Tom Riddle…."

"Yep. And I also murdered your girlfriend there!"

A few seconds of silence passed. " _WHAT?!"_

"Oh yeah, did I also mention I'm Voldemort?"

"But that's-!"

"Yep, that's right, I'm the memory of 16-year-old Voldemort!"

"Lavender, is Voldemort that no-nose guy in the _Daily Prophet_?"

"Yerp, I think so."

"And also Tom Marvolo Riddle, the dude with his name carved into our tower?"

"Affirmative."

"And Cuthead knows him too? What a small world!"

"Agreed!"

Lavender and Katie both nodded and kept listening.

After a significant amount of bangs and yells, they heard a loud screech, which was followed by, "Your bird may have blinded the Basilisk, but it can still smell you!" Then more banging and yelling.

"Katie, do you think we should help him." To this Katie started laughing hysterically.

"Oh you're serious? No."

" _Come on,_ Katie. Let's go." Lavender jumped out of bed and dragged Katie out of hers, too.

"URHPOIHGPHONGOLERTS, NO!"

"Meh."

"If we're gonna help them, can we just get Snape and move on with life?"

"Nope. And anyway, where's the fun in that? Now _come on_!"

"Meh. Okay."

"Indeed."

When they were in the top of the astronomy tower, they followed the bangs and yells and they led to the girls bathroom with Moaning Myrtle. There was an open pipe on the sink which, if I do say myself, smells like a murdering large snake had been living there for _years._ But of course, the girls still went in after they went down the slide/pipe thingamabobber, there was a giant rock wall in front of them.

"How long is it gonna take for this kid to die, anyways?" They heard someone scream beyond the wall.

"That's it! I didn't get out of bed for nothing. Now come on, Lavender, it's time for all those boring and pointless lessons to pay off, okay!? We're saving this kid's life!"

"Wow! I'm so proud of you. One problem. How exactly do we do that?"

"Well, you know, we, um, have to, um, I- no, um. I don't know."

"Oh! I've got it!" Lavender screamed. "This is gonna take forever, though."

"I don't care what it is! Just tell me!"

Lavender pointed her wand at a particularly large rock and calmly declared, "Wingardium LeviOsa!" Immediately the rock moved and Lavender set it aside while Katie looked at her in awe. "Well, don't just stand there all day, help me!"

After all the boulders were removed, the ran through a small gate into a room the size of The Malfoy Manor by the looks of it. There was even this giant snakey-haired statue of a guy who, by the looks of it, is having a midlife crisis. Distant screams pierced their ear drums.

"This way." Lavender sighed and climbed into a pipe while Katie dared not leave her. She didn't know that as soon as she left No-nosed guy pulled out a knife.

"This kids probably Cuthead- Sorry, sorry. _Barry._ It's probably Barry, right?"

"Most likely. God, it smells like someone poured old hair gel into a sock soaked in toilet water then sprinkled with dirt, and was put in a can of meat and onions and then was dipped in hamburger grease with broccoli inside it, and at that very moment was sprayed by a sweaty disco skunk. If you can't tell, I don't like the smell very much." Lavender retched.

"Well that improves the smell."

After Tunneling for a long time, a figured appeared in front of them.

" _Barry?"_ Lavender muttered.

"Shh! Keep it down. He can hear you!"

"What happened, Barry?"

"After Ron left with Ginny, he started chasing me. I still have his diary. See?" He handed Lavender an old ripped leather book. "It's how we kill him."

"How are we gonna kill him… with a book?"

"We need the tooth."

"Ok Barry, you're talking crazy right now. What tooth?"

"The basilisk fang, of course."

"Well then how do we get that?"

"We have to go back."

"Then why are we still running forward?"

"Because we haven't stopped and turned around yet."

"Then stop and turn around man! Come _on_!" She grabbed him and pushed him in the right direction.

"You know, it's been awfully quiet for a while considering Katie's with us."

"I actually haven't seen her in a while. Oh, crap. She probably went to look for Cheesecake or something. It happens more than you would expect."

"Okay, then."

Lavender was never happier to see the midlife crisis guy, when they reached it. It was also the only time she was remotely happy to see that thing. And there Katie poking at a giant snake she had failed to notice before. Huh.

"Katie!"

"What! I went out looking for Cheesecake ("Told you." Lavender whispered to Harry), and I found this cool carcass and… (twenty minutes later) that's why I'm never going near a chameleon again!" At this point, Lavender was fast asleep on the floor and Harry harvested the fang and Murdered Voldemort's teenage self.


	19. Name didn't fit, at start of chapter

**CHAPTER 18:** Happily Ever-Wait What? NO! We've still got six years left at Hogwarts, for the love of God!

After the horrific events of last night, Katie and Lavender had one main focus...it was the last day of Hogwarts. Katie found herself being shaken awake by her sister. "Kate! Kate Kate Kate Kate Kate! It's the last day of school!"

"Cheesecake, you're right!"

"Well, what are we waiting for! Let's celebrate!"

"To the feast!"

…

The Great Hall was chaotic as students anxiously waited for house cup results. As they were covering their faces with cheesecake, Draco wandered over to their table. "Well, another victory for Slytherin that Gryffindor's gonna steal cuz' Dumbledore favors Scarface over there!"

" _Another?_ What'd ya mean, another?!"

"Oh, they pulled this same card last year. Longbottom. Ten points for standing there and getting body-binded. Weasley. _Fifty_ points for playing chess. If I'd know I could get fifty points for beating Weasley at chess, then sign me up!"

"See, this is why we should just by slitherhuffleclaw." Katie said, annoyed.

"Naw, then it's not as special." Lavender replied.

"Attention students!" Dumbledore yelled, standing up.

"We're in the lead by hundreds. Bet you ten galleons Gryffindor wins." Draco whispered as he walked back to Slytherin table."

"You're on, Malfoy boy." Katie replied in a challenging voice.

"You've lost, Potter girl." He said, winking.

"I would like to announce this year's house cup winners! In the lead by hundreds, Slytherin!" The hall filled with cheers and groans. Draco mouthed, _'Wait for it….'_

"However!" Dumbledore yelled. "Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, for risking their own lives to save others, I award three hundred points to each of you! Beating Slytherin by forty-nine points!"

The room, again, filled with cheers and groans. Draco rubbed his thumb against his pointer finger at Katie, who rolled her eyes and looked away.

"HOWEVER!" Dumbledore yelled again. "Katie and Lavender Potter of Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw, who also went into the chamber to save lives, deserve some points as well! To Lavender Potter, I award three hundred and fifty points, for going into the chamber, saving Harry, and having to deal with her sister all year long! She had to sleep in the same room as her, I mean that takes _guts_!"

"I earned it." Lavender whispered to herself.

"And to Katie Potter!" Dumbledore yelled. "Who, even after all year of fighting with Harry Potter, yet still going into the chamber, three hundred and fifty points!"

Some people cheered, other started banging their heads against whatever they could find.

"And also! According to the Hogwarts depressed vampire, Severus Snape, they both get forty points for exceeding in potions class! Therefore, beating Gryffindor by three points, the winner of this year's house cup, is Gryffinslitherhuffleclaw!"

The room filled with all kinds of sounds. Cheers, groans, whispers, vomiting, etc. Katie grinned at Draco, and rubbed her own thumb against her pointer finger at him. He also rolled his eyes and looked away, but Katie knew he was happy that Gryffindor lost.

"As for the Quidditch Cup, Gryffindor is the winner!"

This was followed by even MORE annoying sounds. But the Potter twins couldn't care less. There were two people in their house and they'd already won the cup in their first year!

Harry had a look of small but most certainly there appreciation when he looked at the twins that morning.

…

The rest of the morning was spent packing up there stuff and setting of the end of the year sale for Potter's Pottery. And a whole hour was spent trying to shove the cursed Lord Dunmore in his cage, which they later figured out was MUFFIN's, and was about the size of a drinking goblet. "How did I not realize this sooner?" Katie asked, looking back and forth between the tiny cage and large large-eyed owl. "Well, whatever. Let's go set up your end of the year sale!"

…

"Maybe I can attract more people by blasting Ozzy music really loudly?"

"It'll shatter the vases."

"Ah. Good point."

At that moment, Harry walked over to the shop. "Um, hi Katie, hi Lavender."

Katie sighed. "Hi _Barry_."

"Um, I wanna get Hermione a vase. She still wants one, but last time didn't go to well-"

"Oh, actually," Lavender said. "I made a custom vase in case any of you nitwits dropped by." She said, pulling out a vase. "Ta da!" It was gold and shiny, with a Gryffindor lion on it. "Here you go." She gave it to him.

"How much?" He asked.

"How much do ya got on you?" Katie asked, interrupting Lavender.

"I dunno, five galleons and probably a few knuts?"

"That much."

He hesitated. "Alright." He said, throwing a few coins on the table and walking away with his vase.

"See, _that,_ Lavender, is business." Katie said sassily.

"Agreed." Lavender replied, counting the coins.

The next person to come up was Cedric.

"Hiya Cedric!" Katie yelled.

"Huh? Oh hi Ka-"

"Cedric! I was working on a vase for you, too, hold on a minute…." Lavender said, disappearing into the mountain of pots. After a minute, she reemerged, holding a Hufflepuff vase.

"That would be however much money you have on you, sir." Katie said.

Cedric snorted. "I have two sickles on me."

"That'll do!" Katie exclaimed.

After he left, Katie said, "See _that,_ Lavender, is why you don't sell things to Hufflepuffs."

"Pft."

"So, what now?"

"Now we wait."

It was a couple hours before they had to leave, so Katie eventually went on a cheesecake hunt while Lavender stayed and worked. But, eventually, after a pretty good business day, it was time to go home, and this time, they were determined not to miss the train. So they took the money and vases, bid farewell to Hogwarts for the Summer, and headed down to the train station, which was very small. But they still got on the beautiful scarlet engine without hesitation. They were quick to find an unoccupied seat, so they didn't end up sitting with like, Lee Jordan or someone. While they were waiting to start moving, someone knocked on their compartment door. It slid open, revealing Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Oh, well this is awkward. Can we sit with you two? Everywhere else is full." Harry said.

"Depends, how much cheesecake do you got on you?"

Harry and Ron blankly stared at each other. "Hermione?"

"Actually, I do have a bit left over from-"

"WELCOME ABOARD, MATIES!" Katie yelled. "NOW GIMME' THE CHEESECAKE!"

Hermione shook her head and gave Katie what was hers, which then disappeared. "Where'd it go? I just lifted it to the hole in my face and poof! It teleported to my stomach!"

"Well what'd you think was gonna happen?" Lavender asked.

"I dunno, maybe it'd duplicate?"

"Well, that's sad. So, nitwits, where are you going for Summer?"

"I'm going home. Escape from these two for a little bit. Boys, am I right?" Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"No crap!" The twins yelled at the same time. "BILIUS, how about you?"

"That's not my name, and I'm going home as well."

"That's nice. Cuthead? I-I mean, _Barry?_ "

"Neither of those are my name, and I'm going to the Dursleys'. _Again_. And you two?"

"I think we're staying with the Lovegoods, if not, then we're going back to the orphanage."

"You two are orphans?" Hermione asked.

Lavender blankly stared at her. "Yes."

"That's terrible!"

"Barry's an orphan too, you know!"

"Who's Barry?" Hermione asked curiously.

"You've know him for two years!"

"I'm Barry." Harry cut in.

"Oh. Well, then! The three of us are gonna discuss stuff now, you to talk about whatever you talk about." She looked towards her Gryffindor friends and started gossipping.

"Lavender?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we're gonna have some serious fun at Hogwarts next year."

 **THE END**


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